OUT OF MY MIND Paperback – 1 May 2013

Out of My Mind is the story of a pre-teen girl, Melody. It is a first-person narrative mostly about what's going on inside her mind, hence the name.Melody was born with cerebral palsy. She cannot stand. When she sits, she has to be strapped to her chair to prevent her from tumbling down. She has problems chewing and swallowing food or even drinking water. And she cannot speak. When she tries to talk, “the words explode in her brain, but all that comes out are meaningless sounds and squeaks.”But Melody’s brain has developed normally. In fact, her intelligence is well above average and she is always eager to learn. She is also blessed with a photographic memory. Her most painful problem is that she has no way of communicating her knowledge, thoughts or emotions to anyone. As she writes, “I can say “uh” and “ah” pretty clearly, and, if I concentrate, sometimes I can squeeze out a “buh” or a “huh.” But that’s it.”Very few things can be more frustrating than this inability to express or communicate. But even her frustration she cannot express! When I read some of her passages describing how she needed to communicate but even someone like her mother who was one person who came closest to understanding her, would often fail to understand, I was reminded of a poem- The Eve of St Agnes by John Keats in which he wrote:“No uttered syllable, or, woe betide!But to her heart, her heart was voluble,Paining with eloquence her balmy side;As though a tongueless nightingale should swellHer throat in vain, and die, heart-stifled, in her dell.”When Melody’s helplessness overwhelms her, her arms and legs get all tight and “lash out like tree limbs in a storm.” She begins to screech and scream and jerk. She writes: “These things—I call them my “tornado explosions”—are pieces of me. All the stuff that does not work gets balled up and hyped up. I can’t stop, even though I want to, even though I know I’m freaking people out. I lose myself. It can get kinda ugly.”Melody does go to school. But there is a class for special needs children and she sits there. Feeling miserable because often she is treated as an imbecile because she drools, needs to be taken to the toilet by an attendant and doesn’t speak or even raise her hand.A teacher joins the school who introduces the concept of “inclusive periods” where for some sessions she sits in the same class as normal needs children. That is not an unmixed blessing either.As Melody writes, “But “inclusion” doesn’t mean I’m included in everything. I usually sit in the back of the room, going crazy because I know answers to things and can’t tell anybody. “What’s the definition of the word ‘dignity’?” one of my teachers asked a few days ago. Of course I knew, so I raised my hand, but the teacher didn’t notice the small movement I’m able to make. And even if she were to call on me, what then? I can’t very well yell out the answers. It’s really frustrating.”Because Melody does not speak, others just presume that she has nothing to say. As her classmate Claire once said, “I’m not trying to be mean—honest—but it just never occurred to me that Melody had thoughts in her head.”Many of us would have come across special needs people. While we do feel sympathy for them, I realised after reading this book that what such people need most is not our sympathy or even kindness; they need to be treated as just another person. As Melody’s mother once says, “A person is so much more than the name of a diagnosis on a chart!”No person’s illness should be treated as her identity.It’s a sad story but the book is very readable and also very educative.

Wonderful writing

The story was very nice and heart-warming

Looking at the world through Melody's eyes. Thought provoking, humbling and heartbreaking too. It's excruciating to be not able to communicate or be dependent on others for the basic needs.

touching.awesome.beautifully written with a great twistabsolutely loved Melody and cute Pennyvivid descriptiona great story about determination,chasing your dreams and last but not the leasta story about trustwonderful readrecommended by me

Mind blowing read for everyone...Lovely story we will finish in one go.My daughter really liked this awesome book. Recommended for all children to instil empathy in their minds in childhood itself.📚❤❤💕

Very touching and realistic telling of the life of a girl with cerebral palsy. I enjoyed reading it as an adult and realized that this recommended reading material for ages 10 and up. Superb telling.

Enjoyable