When Sinners Say "I Do": Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage Paperback – June 1, 2007

My fiancé and I were assigned this book in our premarital counseling. The truths we gleaned from this book have helped us so much already in how we communicate and handle conflict. I am sure we will return to it again and again.

Read it before I got married. Outstanding fact in the middle of an argument. Stop and say I love you. Biggest thing I picked up from the book. But it's an awesome book I probably picked up more.

Point: The Gospel tells us that we are sinners and therefore will have marriage conflict. The Gospel also tells us that Jesus paid for that sin and we can have growth.Path: Harvey leads the reader through the bad news and the good news of the Gospel and our marriages. He sets a firm foundation in reality when he explains that we are our own worst enemy because of sin. He then shows how that looks in our everyday conflicts at home. The transforming power of the Gospel then is explained as he practically works out what a believer in Christ can choose to do, and is commanded to do, in the marriage relationship.The pattern of sin - grace - application is how the author moves through the whole book. He walks through arguments, forgiveness, confrontation, sex, and dying.Sources: The author references teachers such as C. J. Mahaney, John Piper, J. I. Packer, as well as Puritans such as Watson, Owen, and Henry.Agreement: I appreciated that this book took the time to explain the real problem - sin, rather than merely the symptoms - conflict. The author doesn’t promise “A New Husband by Friday” or that you will know “His needs and her needs.” Rather, he points the reader to Jesus Christ.His practical illustrations were helpful.The book is easy to read.Disagreement: One way I think he could have made the book stronger is to include questions for discussion at the end of each chapter.Personal App: Am I willing to deal with the biggest problem in my marriage, me?Favorite Quote: “When sin becomes bitter, marriage becomes sweet” (Kindle Locations 106-107).It would be worth another read and I would recommend it.

I loved this kindle edition was so affordable. I would buy many more kindle books for that price!In contrast to the price the content of the book has limitless value because it tells the truth about who I'm married to and more importantly who I am.Have you ever stollen something, ever? Me too. Gum when I was 4-5. Probably since then too.Have you ever lied? Who hasn't? I know I have. There are 8 more commandments and I have broken all of them in my heart if not out right.That makes me a sinner and the bible says a sinner cannot enter the kingdom of heaven. If it is not heaven there is no other option but hell. Jesus Christ never sinned but he died so that he might take that guilt and penalty. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23 ESV) For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 ESV)When I stand before God as my judge it will be as if someone stepped in the courtroom and paid my fine and the judge lets me go free.Once we understand this and confess that we have sinned and ask Jesus to save us not only does it change our eternal destiny it changes everything on this planet and the way we approach it. Christ died and suffered for me and my spouse. But we are still sinners and this book will help to deal with sin and make our marriage more like the relationship we have with God as a sinner redeemed.

So far this is a very good book for the married and the soon-to-be-married! Acknowledging that there are two sinners doing the best that they can to be good husbands and wives to one another is liberating. However, being a sinner doesn't give the participants a pass for bad or cruel or lackluster behavior; it calls them to acknowledge their sinfulness and seek help from the God through his Word. He has given all the instruction and guidelines that we need to do marriage well in the Holy Scriptures.So far, so good. Will definitely press on with this book!

This book has helped me realize several things that I, as a husband, should be more proficient at: grace, forgiveness, preference, selflessness, more giving-less taking and many more. I "proof read" this book to see where the author would take his reader. I quickly found out: Scripture, and the effectual love and grace of our Savior and how that is the example and picture of a godly marriage. Harvey reminds the reader, whether a husband or a wife, marriage is the picture of Christ and the Church. Inasmuch, we are both sinners with a profound problem: sin.This book is profoundly practical and Harvey has a very practical way of counseling the reader, helping him/her discover that practicality. I've studied a lot of theology, but have been a failure in many areas of marriage. The author explains from the get-go that marriage is theology and each spouse better put their thinking caps on and discover what God's Word says in this regard. "Study to show yourself approved."I openly admit that I've not thought highly of marriage books, even Christian ones. However, this book is overwhelmingly delightful to read. It's thorough enough on most of the subject that grieve our spouse, at least it was for me. All in all, we spouses must recognize that if we desire change it begins NOT in the opposite spouse. It depends on YOU. I've pointed the finger of blame far too frequently at my wife. This book pointed it right back at me.Thank you for a wonderful read Dave Harvey.