The Many Hues of Ted Cruz: A Crayon Erotica Parody Paperback – August 23, 2015

It's difficult to put into words exactly how funny this book is. Did I nearly fall off a barstool while reading it? Yes. Did laughing make me spill my own tears? Yes. Do I have a better understanding of the mind of Ted Cruz after reading it? Probably???Ted Tedded very many Teds in this short book of Ted. Ted Tedded the only way a Ted could possibly Ted. In fact, I think I even learned how many Teds a Ted could chuck if a Tedchuck could chuck Ted. Spoiler: it's more than you'd think.

I laughed non-stop. This is absolutely brilliant and the writing flawless. A wonderful and welcome respite from the nutty clown car that is the GOP.KUDOS!

surprise your friends and buy this for them anonymously!

Complete trash

Here's an excerpt:His hotel suite met his personal approval rating. His suits hung pristinely in the closet like flat, headless Teds standing single file. The Gideon Bible had been removed from the drawer and placed on the pillow because no Bible deserved to be hidden in a drawer. The scene was very pedestrian. It was Tedestrian. Clean, white sheets hugged the mattress like the palest of sausage skins. He winced. So plain. So blank. He closed his eyes and dreamt of something better than white. Something prismatic. Swatches of color assaulted his imagination. A prism of pride dashed before his tightly clenched eyes. His teeth sparked. His heart pumped ultraviolet. His saliva glands ejaculated; not just with saliva, but with pleasurable pain. Ted’s eyelids lifted to reveal he had fallen back onto the crisp white sheets. A tacky wetness inflicted the front of his trousers. He had come. He was furious with himself for dropping the milk. Ted Time is supposed to happen on *Ted’s* Time! This stallion had lapped him. He’d missed it. Long gone. Yet, he knew the horse could be brought back around the track. He had been there many times before, so he knew he needed to work with it. He needed more than himself.

cackled as I read it. It is a bit short though

You want a parody? Well, here it is. Enjoy!

A hard-hitting expose on the personal life of Ted Cruz. Mankini exposes the hypocrisy at the heart of American politics today with a sense of literary justice. Certainly, my political views have been irreversibly changed and I find myself looking at the field of politics differently because of the tact and intelligence of this book. Five stars.