What Do You Say, Dear?: A Caldecott Honor Award Winner

Got some kids or grandkids who could use a fun lesson on social skills? Look no further! This book uses hilarious situations to demonstrate proper ways to behave.

This book tries to teach manners (no idea if it's successful), and avoids being totally condescending and didactic by putting them all in the case of bizarre, childish make-believe scenarios. What do you say when you're walking backwards to town (because you like to do that) and bump into an alligator? What do you say when you're flying your plane and remember the Duchess asked you to drop in, so you do and break her roof?It's silliness incarnate, and you have to love it!There are three scenarios in particular that reviewers have commented on, so let's tackle those.The first is the "decapitation". In this case you're asked what you say when you're out picking flowers in front of your castle, a dragon appears and breathes smoke at you, and then a knight saves you by chopping off its head. (You say thank you.)There's no blood or anything gory shown, and as far as I'm concerned the princess being saved from the dragon by the knight is a common fairy tale set-up. I don't have a problem with this. There are more violent scenes in both classic and recent Disney animated films, nobody is claiming the dragon was talking and friendly and just violently attacked - I have no problem with this scene for this age group. Let's move on.The next one is where you are a cowboy. Suddenly the bad guy shows up and holds a gun to your head and asks "Would you like me to shoot a hole in your head?" (You say "no thank you", which strikes me as perfectly sensible.)This one is a bit trickier. I'll be honest and skip ahead a bit by saying I, personally have no problem with ANY of this book - but in this case I can really see why some people do. The scene is a bit explicit, and the Western is no longer a popular form of drama anyway so it's not like this situation is likely to have come up in your child's play.However, as nobody actually gets hurt, I'd say most kids won't even notice to be upset. There's more violent scenes on cartoons in the morning.And the last one that people have complained about is the one where you're a pirate and have captured a lady and tied her up. Every morning when you untie her to eat breakfast she says "Good morning, how are you?" and you are supposed to say the same.As far as this goes... meh. Clearly nobody is being particularly ill-treated.Now, overall, I don't mind any of these scenes because I know quite a few children. This sort of thing and more is exactly what they come up with when they're playing pretend. If you think children do not play-act violence you are very much mistaken. They do. They do it because it's exciting. They do it because it's fun to practice being really bad in a safe way that doesn't actually harm anyone, when in real life they work so hard to be GOOD. They do it because these things scare them and playing them makes them less scary. They do because the stories they are exposed to have violence there, explicit or implied, and they want to understand that. They do because you can't have a good story without a villain.And children have been doing this for as long as there have been children to play pretend at all. I do not believe that this is in any way linked to actual violence when these children grow up.Obviously if your child is bothered by this sort of pretend violence, don't read them this book. Or if you are. However, truthfully, I don't think it's that big a deal in this context.

Okay, this is my first time writing a review. I hope all parents will understand my point and try to see it from a child's Perspective since this is a children's book to teach them how to behave.First, this book is NOT for children. A child doesn't know how to interpret the other sides of a story. I will start with what i found about this book and why it is NOT for kids!I took photos and posted the first few pages of the book that shows "situations" or "cases" that asks the child "what would you do if this happens to you" :The first situation, as you can see in the first photo, a child reading at a library "quietly" when Bad-Nose Bill, an ugly looking STRANGER came and chained the kid -your child- from his neck and told your child "i've got you, and i'm taking you to my ranch..."What would you do, dear?Okay, as i was going through this with my 4 year old son, i was shocked; before i turned on the page, i asked my son what would you do? He said i will shout and tell people that a stranger is going to kidnap me, and i'll ask for help. I told my son that's exactly what you should do! And i was expecting to see this scenario in the next page. As i flipped the page I was shocked that they told the child "to walk quietly through the library!!!!"YOU ARE TEACHING KIDS TO GO WITH STRANGERS!!!! look at the scary faces of the people in the library!! Look how the kid is scared and chained like a dog!!It's NOT A WAY TO TEACH KIDS HOW TO BEHVE At THE LIBRARY!!! THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO TEACH KIDS!! WHY YOU CHOSE THIS ONE?!!then we go to the next scenario, or case, you name it:You see in the picture, that the kid, again "your son" is sitting with his "friend" a grown up, adult, pirate!! And your kid "spent the whole morning digging to burry the treasure" after your son finished his work digging and hiding something (the treasure) the "Pirates cook rings his bell to serve you the lunch"What would you do, dear?"Wash your hands in a dirty green water, and go eat with the STRANGER who offered you a treat after doing what they wanted you to do!!!THAT's HOW KIDS SEE IT!!!WHAT's your point??! Are you Trying to teach kids how to wash their hands Since this is an "etiquette teaching book "??!!It's not how you teach kids how to wash their hands!!!!Here we come to the third scenario:(Please see the photo attached) AGAIN, they are teaching your 4-year-old kids to SMOKE!! With grown up strangers!!PARENTS, if you see this book proper for Your kids, PLEASE take what i'm saying in consideration, and Put yourself in your children's shoes and try to interpret these scenarios from your kids perspective! KIDS DON't KNOW HOW TO INTERPRET HUMOR FROM STORIES they take the story as it is.Unfortunately, I'm disappointed that no one ever reported this book.The book is so pale, no colors that attracts kids, it's scary, disturbing, And threatening!!!!DON't EVER THINK ABOUT BUYING IT !!The book may seem funny for you but not for your kids!!

My toddler reads this every night, but with mods.I read these books growing up, and they teach manners, are very silly and fun, and are adorable. It teaches saying thank you/you're welcome, asking to be excused from the table, saying excuse me after burping+ and bumping into someone, how do you do on meeting someone, etc.But there are problematic bits in both "What Do You Say Dear" and "What Do You Do Dear". Both have a page about pointing a gun at another person's head, one has the bad guy threaten to put a hole in your head. (I got both and forget which is which.) I glued those pages together (cut the middle page out 1st). Gun violence was this funny innocent thing in the 50s and 60s, and a hugely traumatic thing in the 21st century, with all the school shootings that go on.What Do You Do Dear has cowboys and Indians smoking a peace pipe, which is better than at war, but still one of those 50s games that has not aged well.It definitely reflects traditional gender roles. The characters are a boy and girl playing dress-up, and the girl is a princess (rescued by the boy knight killing the dragon), a nurse, a bride, and various kinds of royalty. The boy is a knight, patient, airplane pilot, etc. This part doesn't bother me as much, but it is noticeable as today's kid books have more options.So I would say get it, if you are willing to do some strategic taping, and talk about why some things are silly but we don't actually do them.

sharing with my students

Lots of different and funny situations which illustrate where and when to use different words such as please and thank you. We've read it a lot and my children like it, especially my daughter, aged 6, who like to put on the characters voices now she knows the story!

Good read for little ones

Had this when I was 5

Excellent. The children are delighted.

Excellent