I Can If I Want To

This little gem was recommended to me by my therapist in 1977. I bought it then and used it for years then I lost it. I bought it again recently. I am now 54 years old and it still helps me. This book outlines numerous erroneous beliefs and thoughts that most people have that end up making them depressed. The authors show us how to become aware of our thoughts and how to challenge them. The authors also teach us how to replace those thoughts with more reality-based thoughts that help support us. If someone asked me what one book has help-ed me most in life, I would say this one. It is simple to use and even has little exercises to support more realistic thinking.

A wonderful companion to In the Mind's Eye. This work outlines practical steps for building self-confidence and learning to take risks that can lead to wonderful levels of fulfillment.

This is the best book I've found to help a motivated person overcome many of the most common self-esteem and assertiveness problems. I am a mental health professional, and I recommend this book to many of my clients as an adjunct to therapy sessions. Those who will do the very small amount of required homework are soon amazed to find themselves thinking, feeling and acting in ways they had always thought were possible only for others. The homework, while essential, really is very simple and takes only a few minutes a day. Unfortunately, those who don't do the homework, don't improve.

Excellent self-help book.

Wasn't at all what I expected . . . Too much talk and not enough information that is helpful. I was needing more supportive thought in doing what "I want to" without being selfish and hurtful to others. Like . . . I can throw things at the door and cry, . . . or I can take the kids into the kitchen and work a puzzle. To not allow another person to control my actions. Although that is not the message in the book, that is where my heart went.

Written by a friend of a friend.

Very good. The authors are extremely honest and compassionate. It demonstrate that we all need some help, but it does not give a recipe.

“We are not disturbed by things—external events—but by the views we take of them—our own perceptions.” So say the authors, and this is the key point of the book, and therefore the key to changing behavior. In other words, it’s not what others say or do that makes us feel happy or sad, depressed or angry, but what we think about it. Our thoughts control our emotions and therefore our happiness and success in life. This book is about gaining control of those thoughts and emotions and therefore gaining control of your life. Included are a number of step-by-step solutions to help get you out of your rut and begin mastering your thoughts. The authors call it “self-management”—the idea that you are not a victim but a master of your own destiny and make your own decisions in life. They emphasize that none of the solutions are automatic or easy, but take time and practice to bring results. “We can’t say this often enough: the major function of therapy is education,” writes the authors. “To have therapy sessions or to read self-help books without practicing and without doing homework assignments is like attending lectures at school without reading or studying. . . . Keeping a notebook, recording observations about your own thinking and behavior, and practicing new thinking and behavior are the best ways of changing.” This book not long—118 pages—and the concepts offered are practical and easy to follow. Putting them into practice is up to you.