You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded), Revised and Updated Edition: Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child

This book was absolutely mind blowing! It offers real solutions to dealing with a strong willed child.

This book is an excellent book for dealing with a strong- willed child - either as a teacher or parent. HIGHLY recommend!

I have read so many books on ways to effectively parent my strong-willed child and most of them make it sound like she is a "problem" to deal with. This book is different. She focuses on all the amazing traits only strong willed kids have and their potential for serious success and to be world changers. I found myself nodding along as she described inside a strong willed child's brain and how they think about the world... because I was a strong willed child. But just because I am strong willed and understand that, it does not mean it is easy to parent at all. She gives some great techniques and explains clearly how and why these can work well with this temperament. I read the book in 2 nights, and have put some of the techniques to test in the last few days and already have noticed my daughter responding well. Instead of a knock down drag out fit about something, I have managed to turn things into fits of laughter...and cooperation. Now I am trying to get my husband to read the book so he can better understand her. The book also explains how if you are trying to "rule with an iron fist" and do the whole authoritarian approach, you will never win with this type of child. They cannot handle feeling like you are trying to control them and will lash out every time to this approach. I completely agree and did the same thing as a child. As soon as my parents started putting more trust in me and giving me more opportunities to make my own decisions and deal with those consequences, things got MUCH better at home. MY daughter is only 4, so things are different, but there are still lots of ways to give her some control or make her feel like she has some. I am excited about this book's potential to change our relationship with her. I have always said I do not want to squash her amazing spirit, we just needed to figure out how to wrangle her in a little bit so we can effectively parent her and manage the strong willed nature in a positive direction. This book gives tools, hope, and lots of examples towards doing this.

As I read this book, I began to wonder who was spying on my household. I have three Strong Willed Child (SWC) - my two children and my husband. I finally understand the issues we've been struggling with - and had to laugh out loud when I read the part about the author's son "firing" his twin brother, as my eldest is famous for firing his sister.This book is filled with fabulous foundation information to help you understand what makes your child react to life in his/her unique way, helps you take a breath and realize it's not your fault and that you are doing the best you can, and provides sound strategies to help you mitigate the arguments, debates and negotiations that are part of your daily life with a SWC.I read the book in two nights. The next day, I told my 7 year old I was going to start asking lots of questions. Intrigued, he asked for an example. So I said, I know you don't like brushing your teeth - but before we go to bed tonight I'd like you to brush them. Do you want to brush them now or wait until later? After saying he wanted to get it over with, he stated that these are his favorite kind if questions. I asked why. He said because he likes to have choices and not be forced to do things. Bingo. Exactly what the book explained.The next night, we were wrapping Christmas presents together. My 7 year old was struggling and I offered to help. His response was "I want to do it my way." I immediately wanted to explain that I had lots of experience and tricks to show him ... but after reading the book I bit my tongue. I now realize how important it is to let them work out tasks "their way."After reading the book and having two affirmations immediately afterwards, I feel optimistic about my ability to better manage my SWC and reduce the meltdowns and tempers that flare daily in our house. I am eternally grateful for the lessons learned and the strategies outlined.

Exhausted but not able to give up I stumbled across this book on a Focus on the Family Video interview. When I received the book I read its pages as if sucking down my favorite sweet. It was so encouraging to know and see first hand the struggles that I face daily with our child and my husband lived out before me in the scenarios. I was able to take a reflective look on how I could have handled the situations better and challenged as I realized I MUST change. I copied the child/teacher relationship portion and gave it to my childs teacher as well. I am in the midst of reading the book again not so much for comfort but for clear steps on how to build better relationships with my husband and child who both fall in the category of STRONG-WILLED individuals. I am encouraged and filled with hope after this transparent, easy to read manual helped me realize this is who God intended them to be and reminded me God is NOT punishing me. I have some self-discipline to develop myself and a consistent but not overbearing role to take and I know my humaness will ensure that I will make some more mistakes...but I am intent about giving more tickets and less warnings as the book suggest so that death by dialogue with no consequences doesn't raise its ugly head. I must be intent about thinking , " WHAT IS THE POINT?," and not just trying to have them do it my way. And most importantly I MUST remember in the midst of the process the reason I got married and wanted to have a child...it was about my love that I wanted to share and the relationships I desired and still desire to cultivate. Excellent book that gives all who care to know how the mind of a strong willed individual operates and challenges you to meet them at their point of need and allow them to choose to meet you in an unexpected way.

Product came quickly and as described.

I was recommended this book on a forum. It helped me to realise that I too am strong willed and that was part of the problem I was having with my strong willed middle child. My daughter has been a real handful from age 2 to almost 4 and this book came at a time when I really was on the edge. It really helped give me some clarity & some positive ideas to deal with her. A lot of how she is is just her personality but the book helped me realise there are things I can do so we aren't constantly locked in battle.It's very American and several chapters focus on what to do if your older child is naughty at church so I missed out big chunks of it, but overall it really helped improve things for us at home.It's worth getting your other half to fill out the questionnaire on your behalf as I answered negatively to all the questions when I did it, but when my husband did it for me he ticked yes to almost half the answers, helping me to realise I probably am stronger willed than I thought! DEFINITELY worth a read if you are struggling with a strong willed one x

This book was such a waste of my time. A friend of mine bought it as well, as it came recommended in an article and we both were extremely disappointed.If you have a strong willed child, I recommend reading Raising Lions instead. I love Joe's principles and structured approach.

Our middle child is a strong willed child and this book provided me some helpful tips. We don't allow screaming in our house so if you scream I take you to the garage and hold you until you calm down. I often say to the toddler, "if you scream, we go to the garage" and it doesn't have much of an effect on her. This book suggested asking, "are you sure this is what you want?" which I turn into, "are you sure you want to go to the garage?" and so far that has quieted her down immediately. There are lots of good examples in this book by Tobias' own children that I found helpful, and some funny too!

(NOTE: I listened to the Audible version.)I highly recommend this book. I found it very, very helpful in understanding and dealing more more effectively with my strong-willed daughter. I also realised I was a stong-willed child myself (this surprised no one but me).Another reviewer, perhaps at the Audible website, criticised this book for its religious references. I'm agnostic and had no problem with them. The book is not riddled with hard-core religiosity, so don't let what is really a non-issue keep you away from a very helpful parenting tool. That said, if you are just sitting around and waiting to be offended, cut the author a break and read something else.Happy reading.

Although our book met a tragic end before we could finish, our puppy unfortunately got it and destroyed it, we found it very insightful, helpful and easy to read even through we are not religious the book still helped us work on ourselves as a family! I will order a new one once we can afford it! Thank you!