The Journey: A Roadmap for Self-healing After Narcissistic Abuse

I bought this book after watching many of Meredith's FANTASTIC videos on narcissistic and psychopathic abuse. I am literally amazed at the transformative power she personally demonstrates, as a result of taking responsibility, facing her trauma and wounds, and being a light to the world. The subject of narcissism, rather, the deep pain and wounds it causes, especially growing up with such parents, is validated and invited to heal in this book. I most appreciate the personal & historical details, that give context to Meredith and her work. Her candid, courageous, vulnerable, honest, and loving account - truly guides and inspires. Here are some of the core issues, taken directly from her book, that has affected me very much: The Second Threshold -This is the turning point in your character transformation. -It is the moment when you get to the bottom of what has been holding you back. -You face your biggest fear and that which has the greatest power over your life. -You drop the blanket of false security. -Your authenticity cuts through the denial. -The trauma bond breaks. -An enormous amount of fear is released. -The shame dies. -Your false sense of self dies and a new you is reborn. -There is an immense relief of anxiety. -You burn some bridges in order to keep yourself from going back to what hurts you. (Miller, Meredith. The Journey: A Roadmap for Self-healing After Narcissistic Abuse (pp. 180-181). Kindle Edition.) The process of confronting our False Self, Love Addiction, Substance Abuse, Co-Dependency, trauma-bonds, and other consequences of growing up with such profound insults to our human dignity, is not an easy road. However, Meredith is absolutely correct in that changing your relationship to yourself, is completely worth it. This is a book of such beautiful authenticity, creativity, COURAGE, integrity, wholeheartedness, and practical guidance - anyone who has suffered from narcissism may truly benefit. It works, but only if you utilize a set of tools that are right for you. This book is an excellent tool. Meredith, you are doing GREAT things with your life. I am inspired and grateful - thank you for your excellent book! With love and gratitude for shining your Light, Rivka

I love this book. I got it because I connected with Meredith’s YouTube videos. She’s authentic and tells it like it is, based on her own recovery from narcissistic abuse. I’ve read other books that have been helpful in my recovery. They mainly focused on information about how narcissists operate or on self- care techniques. This book is different in that she gives a clear outline of the three stages of recovery in detail, based on Joseph Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces. I was able to gage where I am in my recovery and see what I need to learn next. At stage two, I can look back and see progress of where I’ve come from, and look forward to stage 3 where I am going to be completely better. For example, stage one has to do with being in denial. (The way I got myself out was to say, based on past lies, deceptions, and confronted with evidence of wrongdoing, does this person deserve the 2% benefit of the doubt I keep giving them? I think not. Does this person deserve 1%? No. Zero percent. This helped me to choose to trust my instincts, intuition of everything I see and feel.) Anyway, the book is clearly written, easy to digest. I read it quickly and couldn’t put it down. Highly recommend! Thank you, Meredith!

Meredith Miller is one of the most intuitive people I've come across on the subject of Narcissistic Abuse. She is direct, yet poetic, and her personal stories really reach the heart. The details may be different, but the emotions and awakening are the same. I could easily see where I was along the journey, and it's wonderful support and validation. I would highly recommend this book to anyone healing from Narcissistic Abuse or researching the topic. I'd like to include part of the Prologue as a testament to her dedication and commitment. I believe we all have the right and responsibility to feel empowered, worthy, and free. My story of self-healing after narcissistic abuse began the day I realized that I'd been programmed to accept the Legacy of Abuse passed down my lineage for who knows how many generations. Where did it start? It's hard to know The Legacy of Abuse gets passed on trans-generationally without question as something normal and acceptable. When it's modeled by parents, it teaches children that's what love is. Kids then grow up to accept more abuse from others as adults or worse yet they become abuses themselves. Eventually the problem becomes pandemic.. Abuse is deeply woven through society from the macro to the micro level. I believe THE problem in our world is that many families, corporations, workplaces, governments, media, entertainment, and even spiritual and religious organizations are functioning according to abusive values and promoting the normalization of this behavior.

Came across this book, divinely, at just the right time in my journey (I’m 60 and have been on an amazing healing journey for 2yrs). I’m sure many others can identify how paralyzing one can feel after waking up to the reality of living with narcissist behavior for most of your life. There are many other helpful books that are out there to help better understand the paradigm you’ve been living in, but in this book, Miller shares deep, personal insights and thoughts that many of us have but maybe can’t quite articulate yet. There is some potty language, but I appreciate her honesty and frankness, mostly because after you begin the process of healing/creating a new you, and stepping out of old thought patterns and behaviors, you begin to realize that it doesn’t just happen overnight. While the realization of our circumstances can sometimes happen in a moment, the process of internal renovation takes time- months and even years for some; but she demonstrates how with each threshold you’ll have more self respect, more awareness of yourself and others and be able to appreciate the process more and more as time goes on. We will inevitably trip up, fall back into an old pattern, and she lets you know that it’s normal and ok, and how to pick up and brush the dust off and learn, moving forward with hope and encouragement. She’s been there-right where you are; you won’t be sorry you bought it.

Three part structure and then many more divisions within that to help conceptualize the hero's journey adventure of navigating oneself out of the muck of toxic people's agendas to reclaim oneself. Written in a similar tone (and intention to walk alongside you with encouragement and nurturing) as Jackson Mackenzie's "Psychopath Free" that Miller credits as one of the best primers for getting through stage one of her three stages. I'm a huge fan of writers who incorporate their own personal anecdotes of how it went down for them and so, rest assured, it's in there. My favorite aspect of this book are some of the myths she dispels quickly that plenty of others in self-help and psychology fields tend to pass too much false optimism about: not everybody truly wants to move past the first or second thresholds and so some voluntarily languish there, even while knowing there is a further ways to go (and access to the resources to move beyond); not everybody you hold dear in your life wants you to be shine bright or be the best version of you; there is no utopian arrival where you will no longer encounter toxic people or that you become entirely immune to them. Thus, the idea is that ultimately you learn to hold your own self-approval and integrity so high that everybody else's opinions fade by comparison, even while desiring healthy community, teachers, allies, friends, partners, and such to enhance the experience of living for all.

The essence of this book is described in its title. It’s a Roadmap. An incredibly helpful and hopeful roadmap for anyone recovering from the effects of narcissistic abuse. Ms miller describes the three stages of recovery – 1. Victim, 2. Survivor, and 3. Thriver – and gives the reader common markers for each stage. If you’ve suffered this type of abuse, you will recognize yourself in her descriptions. The most insidious effects of this abuse are loss of self-esteem, no longer trusting one’s self, feeling there’s something ‘wrong’ or ‘missing’ with oneself, and self-sabotage. Her book will help you overcome all that and more. After I’d spent untold years in therapy and 8+ years in Al Anon, trying to unravel the effects of alcoholism in my family of origin, Meredith’s book was a revelation. The immediate effect for me was realizing I’m not crazy after all and, for the first time, being able to make sense of it all. And, more importantly, seeing what I need to do about it. Miller’s book is a story told from the heart. She shares the very personal story of her own Journey, first in recognizing the effects of the abuse in her own life, and then, working to recover from it. She writes on page 42, in talking about Stage One: “What you most need at this point are people in your life who believe your story and those who can show you by their example that healing is possible.” Miller is one of those people; she shows us it can be done. But she would be the first to admit the healing can’t be done just from reading one book. She gives references to several other helpful books as well, and she encourages participation in 12 step programs. As my own experience with Al Anon had taught me, there are plenty of people out there who will listen to your story and believe you, just as Miller says. Miller also acknowledges that reading books and understanding the source of abuse isn’t enough. We still need to do the work. And her book is the Roadmap for doing just that. One of the very first steps in doing that work, she tells us, is “Taking 100% responsibility for your choices now and moving forward.” She tells us why that’s important, along with pointing the way for all the other steps. In Stage Three, she tells us sometimes we need to work towards Forgiveness and sometimes we don’t. And, of course, she tells us when and why. If you even suspect you may have suffered from the effects of narcissistic abuse, do yourself a favor and read her book. I spent years denying the lasting effects of my father’s narcissism. Reading her book has helped me move beyond the denial to taking proactive steps toward my recovery. With her help I now know, and accept, that it’s 100% my responsibility.

I only gave it three stars because she was long winded in the book. Although the information and personal stories were relevant, I’m the type of person who likes to get straight to the point. I liked the book though.

After watching some of Meredith Millers YouTube videos, I could tell she gets it. She's been through it and come out on the other side so I knew that regardless of what was written in this book, there would be someone who understood. Most of us healing from narc abuse just want that, to be understood, heard and to find out to get our voice and power back. This book helps guide you through exactly that. It's a journey of awakening if you allow it and if you put in the time and work to heal, regardless of how hard it is. Regardless of what stage your in, Meredith takes you through the 3 stages of healing from victim to thriver. I was truly amazed at how she describes every single detail as though I could've written it myself. This book is amazing, healing, and anyone going through this journey should be reading this book as soon as you realize you're dealing with a narc! The longer you delay reading, the longer you delay getting to that thriver stage. Take your power back!

Thank you Meredith for sharing your journey on healing and walking the path to help others heal! Awesome read, very easy to understand, clear direction and heart-felt written. This book is imformative, practical and sheds light on the confusion of this topic.

On page 3 of the book it says: "This book is dedicated to all those who have been abused, manipulated, violated and mistreated." Meredith Miller's book comes to you as a true friend reaching a helping hand. It picks you up where you are. It is a guide and companion speaking to you at eye level. There is no judgement (It is not your fault). Instead you will find understanding of your situation, acknowledgement, suggestions, and encouragement. The journey leads through three stages of recovery: 1. Victim 2. Surviver 3. Thriver The largest part is the Surviver stage. Each stage is structured into a short Summary, the Common Markers, the Work of the stage, the Rite of Passage, and Thresholds to cross. The Common Markers describe the typical characteristics an symptoms of that stage. This allows you to determine in which stage you are and how you make progress. The major part is dedicated to the Work to do, the description of the key elements of the self-healing process. This is actually the core concept of the journey. The Rite of Passage also contains anecdotes from Meredith Miller's personal journey. Everything is explained in a plausible writing style in chronological order. Frequently a section or a paragraph is boiled down to an essence, standing out as a short thesis. Here are some of the topics. Stage one: - Start with the Foundation Rebuilding Safety - No Contact Is Ideal - Learning new Skills & Mindsets - Creating an Action Plan - Redefining Your Ego & Sense of Self - New Boundaries Stage two: - Rebuilding & Strengthening - Self-control & Self-responsibility - Reparenting the Inner Child - Reprogramming the Self-talk - Next Level Boundaries - Upgrading Your Relationships - Rebuilding Self-trust - Speaking Your Truth - Celebrate Your Successes Stage three: - New Choices - Owning Your Reality - Planning for the Future - Growing Resilience - New Relationships - Opting Out of Drama - Closure I really appreciate this book and I want to say a big thank you to Meredith Miller.

I liked reading the book, although I am already quite advanced in my recovery process. It was very helpful to identify and reflect back on stages of recovery. My only reservation is on the length of some examples, too extensive narrative parts for me as I was looking for practical advice. I enjoyed most of the book except those, but they will benefit someone who likes detailed examples.

Highly recomanded.

I'm not a fan of coaching but MIller makes me second guess my opinion. This book is a helping hand for anyone in need of guidance and validation after narcissistic abuse, in a loving, understanding and no BS way. It's a nice to read, straight to the point balm for the soul. I reach to It to keep growing and learning.