Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing Paperback – April 21, 2009

After going through a divorce, therapy, forgiveness seminars, and a new marriage, I still had emotions popping up that I did not want to be part of my life anymore. This book explains how that is normal and gives you ways to pinpoint the hurts, reasons, and ways to move on. As soon as I started reading this book, I knew it was for me. I had dealt with many parts of my former marriage, but this book helped me to deal with myself. I definitely believe in taking what you can and leaving the rest, and since I had already made some of the choices the book presented, I just skipped those parts and spent time on the pieces I still needed to heal. There are active exercises that ask deep questions to get to the root of your own feelings from your past, even some that are prior to the infidelity. I think if you put the time and effort into this book, you will get something out of it. I believe if you are looking for a comprehensive book to seriously and realistically look at your feelings and are ready to get your life back completely, then this is the book for you. Ortman doesn't advocate leaving or staying with the offending spouse, in fact I don't think the author is judgmental about any piece of the affair, but advocates doing what is best for yourself and your situation. I do feel like this book has helped me move into a new chapter of my life.

This is a great book for those struggling with martial betrayal. There are multiple couples stories that provide context for the authors points. The only problem was, as I was reading, there were times where it would make me reconsider staying with my spouse. After 4 months, we’re still together and doing well. (In part to this book helping me and in part to him doing his own work.)

I thought it was an excellent read for my current situation. It calmed me and made me think about what my emotions were and why I was feeling them in order to create a healthier train of thought about the situation. Some people posted that it was repetitive but that's the thing I liked most about it. You can't just read a phrase once and have it resonate within your being, it was important that the book touched on the same aspects of healing multiple times in different ways to truly make a difference in the way you are thinking. I'd say if you're heart broken and don't quite know how to navigate your feelings. Give it a shot.

I found this book really helpful. It gives you do's and dont's to the healing process for each stage. My husband (the cheater) isn't one to read, but I think it could be helpful for both spouses to read this book. It will give the cheater an idea of what the victim is going through and what they need. For me reading these books I was trying to get a better understand of what I was feeling and what the healing process would look like. It was important for me to read that anger is a stage and that it is ok to feel that way but still want to work through things. There were sections I skipped if it got too religious but overall there was not a huge religious tone. I know that I didn't miss important information by skipping that section but for someone who wants faith apart of their healing process there is something for you. It was an easy read, which is something else I found helpful. Some of the other books out there are hard to read and during this time in your life you don't need anything else trying. I will definitely reread this book every couple of months to keep understanding my feelings and my spouse. I would recommend this for anyone who wants to understand and heal.

This book seems to have saved my life. I was gasping for breath beneath waves of shock and betrayal. This book was a life raft to help weather the storm raging around me and inside me. This book takes a compassionate approach to soothing, healing, and understanding what the mind and body endure during the aftermath of an affair. His gentle approach isn't bitter, or preachy, or punitive. It doesn't rush you through the healing process, or talk you into leaving or staying. His focus is on educating and supporting you through the healing. He has studied many different religions and draws information from each, so the message is wide-reaching and universally understandable. He also uses scientific research, as well as extensive experience from his professional practice, to help you understand what is happening to you during each step of the way, starting at the horrific beginning of your experience. I wish I could tell him thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this book. I have copies of the audio book and paperback.

Basically, it's too much Christianity and not enough science. Also, it's told from the perspective of the cheater (a MALE), so expect to be gaslit a bunch. Finally, it has too many of those vignettes that have to be spelled out to fit the narrative (in other words, most of them sound contrived), and then have to be commented on.I learned 2 new things reading this book, and both were websites that gave me more info than this book. Maybe you can glean more help from this than I did--which is GREAT!--but I found it to be unhelpful when I really wanted to read the perspective of a male who was cheated on by a female.

Very insightful book as I wrestle with an infidelity after 14 years of marriage. This book provided a thoughtful approach to healing, a path that's both logical and realistic. I have read a few others, but found them to only focus on personal empowerment, not actual healing. This one really put my challenges as a person, and in my relationship, in perspective. I highly recommend this book to anyone who's struggling with infidelity. It's a book I'm even asking my partner to read about her role in this and how she needs to work on herself more.