Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends Paperback – Illustrated, February 12, 2013

This is one of the best self-education books I've ever read! If you ever feel the slightest bit of loneliness, or dis-satisfaction in your friendship circle, or doubt in your ability to build social connections, I can't recommend this enough. The book will help you figure out what *you* need more of, what's stalled your progress in the past (your unhealthy myths, fears, behaviours etc.), and most importantly what you can do to change it! I never write reviews like this and I never make it all the way through this sort of book, so the fact that I am and I did says a lot! If you're sceptical, take a look at the blog on her website and if you like it you'll like this.I've had so many realizations that make me understand why people have not always seemed super friendly towards me, and I can SEE the difference in how people respond to me now (a week after starting the book). I've taken on the advice and practical steps in this book and it's really changed how I think about things E.g.: There's no shame in wanting to make friends with more people. My [activity] friends who I only see at [activity] are still real friends! If I act really enthusiastically towards somebody or send a message for no obvious reason, they'll probably feel good rather than think I'm weird. And so on!The best part is that the rewards are so quick in coming. I enjoy outings with friends more because (i) I can see that they're enjoying the time with me, (ii) they offer me more support and fun and joy because *I* do that more for them, and (iii) because it just feels good to grow wonderful friendships. The book starts by telling you how important friends are for happiness, and boy do I *feel* that joy pouring into my life now!What this book is NOT good for - it's very much geared towards adult female-female friendships. I'm sure the ideas can be applied to young people and men, but the examples will feel less relevant. Likewise, it assumes that you have *some* level of social skill, but then most people do so that's probably not a problem! It can feel a little long-winded in places, but I actually found that helpful to drive home the changes in thought pattern and behaviour that I needed. I can't think of any other caveats... go for it!

If you're one of those extroverts that is still having weekly girls nights with all your sorority sisters or with your Moms' club and there just aren't enough hours in the day for all your social activities, then this probably isn't the book for you. But for the rest us, it's pretty valuable. Personally, I'm a 40-something who had good friends growing up and into my 20s, but then I moved across country to a city where I didn't know a soul. Twice. Combine that with a job that requires you to put in 60 hour weeks and to travel regularly and you wake up one day and realize that you've got a bunch of acquaintances, but no close friends. It's a recipe for loneliness.While it seems some people don't like the idea of the five circles of friendship, I think that was probably my favorite part. It made so much sense to me and explained why, when I thought I'd made good friends at work, those relationships never lasted after one of us moved on to the next job. Those situations often left me crushed and feeling like something was wrong with me. This book made me see that this was not uncommon and explained the ways in which I'd failed to expand that friendship in ways that might have allowed it to live on past the commonality of working in adjoining cubes.This book also gives you a framework for expanding friendships beyond the casual stage if you feel that's something you lack in your life (E.g., got plenty of people in your life that you might have cup of coffee with or share a joke on Facebook with, but not one that you could ask to pick you up at the airport or at the dentist when you've just had root canal and are still under anesthesia? Then you need to expand your friendships!). It helps me understand why this can be a process that takes such a long time. That's important, because if you understand how much connection you need to deepen the relationship and you recognize that most of your casual friendships have you getting together *maybe* every couple of months (From what I've observed, exceedingly common among 30 and 40-somethings when kids, husband, and job usually take priority over friendship), then you recognize that it's not you, it's this crazy over-scheduled world we live in that has kept relationships with people you've "known" for years at such a superficial level. And knowing that helps you gain the strength to hang in there and keep trying.All in all, I'm glad I've found this book. I may not connect with every single thing in it, but I do with most. And there are precious few books out there on this topic that I've found as useful. I'm definitely putting what I've learned to use. This is a book that I'll keep coming back to.

Shasta Nelson's book, Friendships Don't Just Happen, sheds light on something I took for granted AFTER that awkward time changing schools in elementary and then again in High School. I like the way Shasta brought out many different types of friendships, and also that it's totally cool to weave in and out of certain relationships as life changes shift our circumstances. For those who are entrenched in solid female friendships, and for those who struggle with it for any reason, this book is a light and a pleasure to share with others. I bought many copies, and I'm gifting them to friends around the U.S. One friend in Florida, a best friend of mine since 1975, was delighted to hear about the book and Shasta's website for connecting girlfriends because she is alone now, after a divorce and grown kids, so although she wouldn't normally have trouble making new friends, her circumstances (living in a new area alone) make her a perfect candidate for GirlfriendCircles, Shasta's website. Thank you, Shasta, for bringing more connectedness and "friendtimacy" to our world (LOVE that new term!).

Just the content I was seeking, at just the right time. Hooray for Shasta Nelson!

I didn't know what to expect from this book, I just knew that I need more friends but can't even remember how I used to do it. This book was a revelation to me, it is a kind, understanding book that somehow talked me through it in a way I had never heard about before. An idiots guide to friendship, which I needed. At the same time I also bought "Friendtimacy" which continues the journey. You can also look up the youtube videos from the author.

I am writing my own book FINDING TRUE FRIENDS - for Friendships to work you have to really want IN (nickfounder.com) and I agree with much of the content in this book. I like how the author dared to write in the subjective voice

Once you get past the San Francisco stuff this is quite a good practical handbook on friendship. For me the book is a bit too rambling and anecdotal. All of her girlfriends are FABULOUS! I really had to persevere with it and it's annoying that it is only addressed to women as so many books on friendship are. Doesn't she have any male friends? But Shasta is a life coach and the book contains plenty of practical suggestions and wisdom. Her YouTube videos are also worth a look. I am running a friendship course which is why I persevered with it.

Author, claims there is no such thing as 'evil' friends/acquaintances...I have news for you, they can be found everywhere; those looking for 'friends' NEED to be aware of this, and what to do!I wouldn't recommend her book, maybe she this woman has been extremely lucky in making friends/acquaintance, I don't know.Other books, I have read on the same topic, have warnings (and how to handle) 'toxic' friends, and 'frienemies', not this one.

There are many books out there that uplift you when you're feeling down but never has a book spoken to me directly like it was written specifically for me! I've of course been uplifted but more important I feel better armed with tools to go into the world and build that community of friends that I've been dreaming of for so long but never thought it possible. I've also now learned what I've been doing wrong in my friendships and now know how I'm going to fix. God bless Shasta Nelson for writing this wonderful book!