Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel

Lisa See's "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan" is a beautifully written exploration of the connections that women have over the spans of their lives. It is poignant, disturbing, and spot on regardless of whether the reader is a lover of the 19th century (in which the story is set) or one who favours the contemporary. The disappointments the women of the novel face are simialr to our own; and the burdens that society places on women today are much the same that were placed on women from Lily's time, though in different ways. See's tale begs the question of "what is really different" as it explores the issues of "beauty' and the sacrifices women make to be "beautiful". It approaches the ways in which women demean themselves for the sake of "beauty". Is women's image of beauty cultural or universal,and from whence do we get these notions of what is means to be "beautiful." For See, the answer is that we can all see oursleves as beautiful and if we (as women) would stop judging our sisters we might find happier lives. As well, See allows us to see the absolute determination of women to survive ina ll ways possible. In the end, what we collectivly allow is a universal subjection of ourselves, never recognizing our abilities to be strong and united, and we all contribute to this situation by our own "policing" of other women. Also explored are the notions of family dynamics which (for women) can be oppressive and challenging to say the least. The characters in See's novel may seem distant to the western woman, but read intuitively, her women teach us lessons that should not be ignored. her women live life in the most subtle and charming terms, but they also live life more valiantly and meaningfully than we can imagine. This book SHOULD be on OPRAH"S BOOKLIST . . . it is a MUST for any woman who has a family, children, parental difficulties, and who loves another woman in any fashion. The book is simply a MUST READ for those who love literature whether academically, as a pleasure reader of women's fiction, or for the general reader. A simply amazing piece.

I was captivated by Lisa See's book, SNOW FLOWER AND THE SECRET FAN. This was an amazing story about the lasting relationship between two girls who grew up in nineteenth century China, and how their deep friendship developed over their life time, in part because they were chosen as latong 'old sames' - a cultural traditions that links them as intimate friends until death. As the story about Lily and Snow Flower unfolded, I better understood how Chinese cultural traditions and customs prepared these young girls for the inevitable events in their lives. Lisa See accomplished this early on by her vivid description of Lily's painful foot binding at the age of nine, and how this tradition came to epitomize 'instructions' specific to learning about pain and suffering, tolerance, and obedience, which Chinese girls must learn in coping with the heartache and anguish they would endure later in their lives. For example, the emotional heartache they experience when they leave their natal families when they marry, the grief they suffer when they loose a child in childbirth or infancy, the brutality they come to suffer from abusive husbands or cruel mother-in-laws, the jealousy they must endure when their husbands take in concubines, and the rigid codes of rituals, which imposes social isolation on women. Lisa See goes further by explaining the yin and the yang of Chinese philosophy, and how grief and suffering is as accepted as the celebration of joy and happiness. If you enjoyed Amy Tan's, THE BONESETTER'S DAUGHTER, respective to the special relationship between Chinese women, you will enjoy this engaging story about the strong bond of love, trust, betrayal, yet the lasting an impenetrable friendship between Lily and Snow Flower. Best of all you will learn about the secret code of writing, or 'nue shu', which enabled Lily and Snow Flower the share their most intimate and deepest secrets. I highly recommend this fascinating book. Maizie James May 24, 2010

"Snow Flower and The Secret Fan" is an epic tale which chronicles the lives of two Chinese women, Lily and Snow Flower. Set in a remote area of Hunan Province, Lily was born in 1823, "on the fifth day of the sixth month of the third year of Emperor Daoguang's reign." During her lifetime, Lily lives through the reigns of four emperors. Most Chinese girls had their feet bound and spent their lives in seclusion in nineteenth century China. Isolated and illiterate, they were not expected to think or to express emotions. They were expected to bear sons. However, the fortunate women living in Hunan villages of the Jian-yong region were exempt from some of this harsh oppression. They were taught to write a special women's language and they were allowed, on occasion, to form special friendships. This deeply affecting novel begins with Lily, an eighty-eight year-old woman, and our narrator, who looks back over her life with bitterness and regret. She is haunted by memories of the past, by actions and events she cannot change. And she remembers, above all else, her laotong friend Snow Flower. "This special relationship formed by two girls, is made by choice for the purpose of emotional companionship and eternal fidelity. A marriage is not made by choice and has only one purpose - to have sons." Often "this special friendship would be formed through an intermediary, like a matchmaker, much like an arranged marriage. Women of suitable birthdays, ages, backgrounds and birth-signs would be paired this way in a bond of exclusive sisterhood that would last a lifetime and would survive marriage, child-birth and widow-hood. A laotong relationship would be rarely renounced or broken." The people in Lily's village now call the venerable woman, "one who has not yet died." For her entire life she longed for love, although as a girl and later as a woman, she knew it was not right to expect it. As a third child, a second worthless girl, her mother looked upon her as just a temporary visitor, another mouth to feed, another body to dress, until she went to her husband's home. At the age of six, Lily never dreamed of sharing a laotong relationship. But one day, the town's foremost matchmaker, Madame Wang, visits her family and seeks to examine the child, primarily inspecting her yet unbound feet. Madame proclaims that Lily's feet are not developed enough to be bound at this time. "The girl is indeed very lovely but golden lilies are far more important in life than a pretty face. A lovely face is a gift from heaven, but tiny feet can improve social standing." She suggests that Lily's mother and aunt do their best to educate the girl in traditional ways. If she learns well, she might be eligible to marry into a well born family in the village of Tongkou. Madame Wang also speculates that Lily may be eligible for a laotong relationship. During the next year, Lily is taught the two Confucian ideals which govern a woman's life. The first is the "Three Obediences: when a girl obey your father; when a wife, obey your husband, when a widow obey your son." The second is the Four Virtues: " Be chaste and yielding, calm and upright in attitude; be quiet and agreeable in words; be restrained and exquisite in movement; be perfect in handiwork and embroidery." Most importantly, Lily's aunt taught her the secret women's writing Nu Shu. Believing women to be inferior, men disregarded this new script, and it remained unknown for centuries. Nu Shu, which is Chinese for "women's writing," was once written and sung by many of the women in Hunan villages. When Lily turns seven, it is time to bind her feet, a symbol for the subjugation of women in China. A perfect foot should be shaped like a perfect lotus bud and be no longer that the length of a thumb. This perfection is called the Golden Lotus. "Every pair of small feet costs a bath (kang) of tears." It is at this time that Madame Wang returns and tells the family that she has found a well-matched laotong relationship for the girl. Lily and Snow Flower are seemingly alike in all ways. The most important relationship in the girls' lives is about to begin and they are only seven years-old. Snow Flower has composed a poem of introduction for Lily, in Nu Shu, written within the tiny folds of a silk fan. Their friendship is sealed and they become "old sames." As years pass, through arranged marriage, childbirth, war, rebellion, famine, drought, loneliness and suffering, the bond between the two becomes stronger and they find happiness and solace in each other. Lily is blessed by good fortune. Snow Flower is not. Their friendship of over 30 years takes a turn for the worse. Although both friends are born under the sign of the horse, they are really quite different in spirit and in circumstances, and these differences become more marked by age and fate. Lily is practical and very traditional. It is easier for her to accept her subservient role, given her good fortune with a husband and many sons. Eventually her position is elevated to "Lady Lu," a respected community leader. However, she becomes limited in her ability to love Snow Flower. She can love her laotong "as a man would, valuing her only for following men's rules." Snow Flower, on the other hand, is a "horse with wings" who attempts to fly over life's constrictions. Now Lily laments that she didn't understand that "the bold horse of Snow Flower's childhood had been broken in spirit" by so much oppression. Lily was "stubborn enough to believe she could fix a horse that has gone lame." I have read all of Lisa See's novels and this is one of my favorites. I was really moved by the story of these two women and their fortitude living in such a terribly repressive, misogynistic environment. "Snow Flower and The Secret Fan" is a wonderfully rich historical novel. The in-depth character development is extraordinary. Ms. See's writing style is tight, fluid, and very descriptive. The author is a Chinese-American, (1/8 Chinese), and grew up in Los Angeles, spending much of her time in Chinatown. She has also traveled throughout China, to the modern cities and the most remote regions of the country. Lisa See has become one of my favorite authors. She has the unique ability to tell a tale while educating the reader. Very highly recommended - 5 Stars worth!!! Jana Perskie Peony in Love: A Novel On Gold Mountain: The One-Hundred-Year Odyssey of My Chinese-American Family Shanghai Girls: A Novel

-- “I am old enough to know only too well my good and bad qualities, which were often one and the same. For my entire life I longed for love. I knew it was not right for me - as a girl and later as a woman - to want or expect it, but I did, and this unjustified desire has been at the root of every problem I have experienced in my life.” -- In nineteenth-century China, when wives and daughters were foot-bound and lived in almost total seclusion, the women in one remote Hunan country developed their own secret code for communication: nu shu (“women’s writing”). Some girls were paired with laotongs, “old sames,” in emotional matches that lasted throughout their lives. They painted letters on fans, embroidered messages on handkerchiefs, and composed stories, thereby reaching out of their isolation to share their hopes, dreams, and accomplishments. It would be easy to modernize the narration and character opinions, but the author stayed true to the mindset of women of that time. I appreciated that. While foot binding is really a practice I could not begin to comprehend in my mindset along with seeing the “beauty” of having small feet, back then it was a means to a husband, family, and a better life (but it was probably also just another way in which women were kept submissive and secluded). Foot binding was accepted by the women of that time. As foot binding is hard to visualize (7 cm feet?), I went to the Internet to look for images of this practice. How sad to see how these women’s feet were, basically, mutilated in what was considered beauty of that time! Being able to keep the narrator relatable while also keeping the historical mindset was a challenge that I think See accomplished brilliantly. I was able to feel empathy for the narrator because I could understand her longing to be loved and was able to comprehend the difficulties she had in her upbringing that formed her personality. Eventually when she grew up, she had expectations about love that were never met because she herself never learned to bend. She expected Snow Flower to do as she did. She did not invest emotionally when Snow Flower did things differently. And WOW… talk about emotionally charged! This would be the second book that has brought tears to my eyes and made me cry while reading it. The first? The last Harry Potter! -- “Read a thousand books, and your words will flow like a river.” -- Its so interesting how the story is about Snow Flower but told by Lily, whose eyes we see things through. We only know Snow Flower via Lily, and we really come to love Snow Flower just as Lily does if not more. The dynamics and development of these characters was what kept me reading! Women were thought of as nothing back then. Their value was in their sons. Snow Flower was one woman who wanted more in life while Lily ended up a product of what society told her to be. Snow Flower finds her value in her friendship with Lily, while Lily plants her roots within social constructs. She was married into a good family with a kind husband who never took in a concubine and never hit her, she had a healthy son first, she became a woman of importance, but she attributed this to her strict adherence to the rules and not to her own person. Because of this, I believe this is why she missed out on the love Snow Flower was offering her freely. Lily never really finds herself to be of value. Even when she first met her laotong, she thought of herself as inferior to Snow Flower and stupid. Her mindset is that she follows the rules, and she sees herself blessed from that practice. Along the narration, Lily realizes her mistakes over and over again in what she does not see with Snow Flower, but she still becomes that detached motherly figure, just like her own mom was to her. Do this, and you’ll find happiness. Do that, and you’ll cause yourself trouble! Make another son, and you’ll be happy! It’s the fallout of this relationship that really builds up into a strong finale for the story. Even after Snow Flower dies, Lily comes to realize that Snow Flower basically did everything Lily wanted her to do in her suffering. She took treatments she didn’t want to take, she held onto life because Lily wanted her to, she tried to please Lily, even up to her painful death. And Snow Flower’s realization of all she had done, how she had thought about how Snow Flower’s suffering affected her versus what Snow Flower was feeling, how Lily misinterpreted things and ended up ruining her laotong’s reputation, never asking Snow Flower what she wanted or how she was, and finally Lily’s reflection on all this in the end, all of these feelings build up and made me feel Lily’s loss of not only her friend but also the time and opportunity she threw out. Reading about these women’s lives was at times painful. The story is fiction but well researched. I really felt the culture, and I know little to nothing about Chinese history. Things about the culture were told in a matter-of-fact manner in the narration (“this is the way it is”), but I felt like I was breathing along with Lily and experiencing her hardships with her, like her foot binding. Its the emotions and needs of these women that are the same throughout history and make this story fresh and relevant. To remember the struggles of these women is, I believe, a credit to their lives which would otherwise have been forgotten. -- “The three most important powers are Heaven, Earth and Man. The three luminaries are the Sun, the Moon and the Stars. Opportunities given by Heaven are not equal to the advantages afforded by Earth, while the advantages of Earth do not match the blessings that come from harmony among men” -- I kept hearing over and over how having a daughter was considered “just another mouth to feed” until she left for her husband’s family. It was continually beat into the girls’ heads as it was the reader’s. I didn’t find this to be mindless repetition but instead saw it as the way women were addressed and treated. It was part of the experience of feeling myself standing beside Lily. Women were kept in their “upper rooms” most of the time. When thinking about it, we all have “upper rooms” we stay safe in. At home on the computer or focusing on family and not myself... what mother doesn’t do that? Lily fell victim to these things in her “rice and salt” years as I think we all easily can even nowadays. Lily’s inner conflicts are relatable. You can also see this historical mindset in other ways as when Third Sister was dying from an infection and the family chose not to “waste” cash on things to ease her suffering while she died. The stories they sung about women being submissive in order to teach lessons of how they should live their lives was sad to hear too! While Snow Flower fought against this, Lily did not. Lily wanted to be like Snow Flower, but while Snow Flower had learned refinement and dignity, Lily only learned the rules she must follow. Lily knows that Snow Flower is being beaten, but while she sticks her neck out to prevent Snow Flower’s son from being starved because he is seen as weak (when they are stuck in the mountains hiding from marauders), she accepts that husbands beat their wives when Snow Flower was in trouble and being beaten. I think it strongly showed social constraints that Lily never broke free of. See is fantastic at imagery. I felt like I was watching a brilliantly directed movie as I visualized everything. The way Snow Flower would put her hand over Lily’s cheek at night to help her sleep, the intricate embroidery messages, the peeling open of the fan slowly, the look and feel of the homes, etc. In addition, See brings to life truly dynamic and strong women who, unfortunately, never learn to value themselves. They could have become more through their friendship, but harsh expectations eventually tore Lily away. The concept of nu shu is truly a beautiful one. To read about one way women rebelled against their oppression was amazing. Women found an outlet to share emotions and thoughts. In their homes they were expected to obey. In their writing, they could come alive to the women they formed a sisterhood with. -- “In our country we call this type of mother love teng ai. My son has told me that in men's writing it is composed of two characters. The first means pain; the second means love. That is a mother's love.” -- See’s storytelling shows a wonderful grace that makes you look at your own life. When have you accepted fate at face value? When have you let anger corrupt your thoughts and relationships? How have you treasured your friendship? When have you looked fate in the eye and had the courage to change it? How do you love others and what do you expect from them in return? I remember moving right before the start of my 4th grade year to a new city. I was overwhelmed and sad. I had difficulties making friends. But I had a pen pal. Each time a letter arrived, my heart lifted. We would tell each other our dreams and our hopes for the future. I felt this same feeling all over again as Lily received her fan from Snow Flower. I think the power of a friendship through writing, where you have to wait for the letters to be delivered versus instant messaging, is really a lost art. But I knew what Lily felt when she opened that fan. I think the power of that is what really drew me in to this story. I firmly believe that friendship of this nature, through writing, is patient and long-lasting. This was a beautiful and bittersweet tale of the power of love between friends. Nothing in this book was predictable, and it always kept me on the edge of my seat. I felt constantly concerned about the characters as I read! Yet, it’s not just an incredible tale of friendship, it’s also about what it means to be a woman and what defines a woman’s life. From the magic See weaves in her storytelling in this book, I don’t think even Shakespeare could have written this tragedy any better! While I was so sad how things turned out for these friends, the journey was a memorable one and well worth it. I will definitely pick up another book See has written as well as read this one again. -- “Only one person ever truly mattered to me, but I was worse to her than he worst husband. After Snow Flower asked me to be an aunt to her children, she said – and these were the last words she ever spoke to me – “Though I was not as good as you, I believe that heavenly spirits joined us. We will be together forever.” So many times I’ve thought back on that. Was she speaking the truth? What if the afterworld has no sympathy? But if the dead continue to have the needs and desires of the living, then I’m reaching out to Snow Flower and the others who witnessed it all. Please hear my words. Please forgive me.” --

A fascinating book about the life of a 19th century middle class Chinese woman from a small village. Lisa See is able to make us step back in time and space to a place where women had their feet bound at age 6 to insure a bright future through marriage. The description of the foot binding is both gruesome and mind shaking. Girls and women accept willingly to put themselves through incredible hardship to ensure a better fate for themselves or their daughters. Everything in ancient Chinese society was ruled by strict codes of conduct; we find out that even friendship was codified through contract as bounding as marriage: again such a departure from our modern outlook on life. The space for individual action or decision making was extremely small and therefore all the more compelling. The description of how women who were not taught to read or write "invented " their own way to communicate in a secret written language is uplifting. A very well researched book, nicely written. In the end, I was grateful to have been able to have a glimpse into the lives of these "small footed" women but I was relieved to close the book and reenter my own.

As much as what happened between lowly-born Lily & better-born Snow Flower affected me - about which I'm still thinking... I was riveted by how these country women lived at that time in that place, steeped as they were in thousands of years of cultural lores & mores, caste & gender taboos... even if Chinese reviewers scoff at what they call the author's historical misrepresentations & errors, & then, blithely, ramble on about how bad it is for people of one culture to write stories about people of other cultures. Yes, I know this is a novel & thus 'only' fiction, however, I've come to relish Lisa See's perfect-pitch storytelling: whether the women are ignorant of On Gold Mountain (America) or escape to it during Interesting Times as in Shanghai Girls & go back 20 years later in Dreams of Joy , although in this one, the word "choice" has no meaning. SNOW FLOWER AND THE SECRET FAN is a lifetime epic spent mostly apart from the men's world of trading & farming, royalty & war, lived in women's upstairs chambers looking out at minute portions of their villages. In Lily's mother's life there is a time for all customs & a million "shoulds" to be wary of, so when she calls in the Diviner to learn when she should start her girls' footbinding: upon seeing Lily at age 6, he deems her 'special' & the matchmaker from a more wealthy village up the road is called in. She is to find Lily an Old Same relationship with a girl born in the same month of the same year with much the same family situation. Madam Wang finds one in her own village, & therein lies the seeds of betrayal. All is forgotten though, when Mother begins the footbinding & we enter into a brutal ordeal as she exhorts her worthless daughters & niece to keep walking & taking care of their wounded feet & sewing exquisite Splendid Slippers until they heal. When Lily is all better & quite unable now to run outside to see the world of her Elder Brother, Madam Wang brings a fan upon which Snow Flower, her designated BFF, has written in women's words her first message... Lily is entranced. In time these two girls will plight their troth in a contract, & the rest of Lily's memoir is what happens as they grow through worthless daughterhood & family deaths, to marrying out to other villages, annual celebrations & meetings, children born & raised, all the time passing each other the fan upon which they write their hearts out. Perhaps scoffers of the love these two BFFs enjoyed have forgotten what puberty was like. It sure helps if you've read Xinran's The Good Women of China: Hidden Voices , so that your everso modern PPC = Puritianical Political Correctness can be mellowed by what other women in other lands still cope with. I was bawling my eyes out by the final chapters at the grace & heartache of a life well lived. It requires you sit quietly & pay attention as Lily paints her life in exquisite, moving strokes. This is a cautionary tale of growing into womanhood & as with all of Lisa See's tales, SNOW FLOWER AND THE SECRET FAN, will leave you wondering how you would've done in that time, that place, that life.

I thought this story was wonderful, then lacked in the second half. The main character was an unlikable woman. Still, the author did and amazing time depicting this time period and culture.

In this novel Lisa See gives us a harrowing and compelling insight to the secret inner realm of women's world in China during the early 1800's. See assures us repeatedly that the women of this book do not take on an adventure full of action and daring but is an emotional and heart wrenching story of the silent and understated life that is woven delicately in the ladies upper chamber. Not since my reading of Kite Runner had I encountered a youthful relationship of such loyalty, depth and affection that it seems to transcend the normal boundaries of life. The two women Lily and Snow Flower are laotong, a special arranged relationship that composes a "deep heart love." Lily, the narrator is writing this story in the twilight years of her life in preparation for her funeral but more importantly to pay homage to this most treasured friendship. Through her story we see through the eyes of a willful but obedient girl who dedicates herself fully to the ways of her culture. Although we have heard of foot binding, the urgency that women tried for male babies, and the subservience of the women in the house to their husbands, reading about Lily's experience with it brings a much fuller and deeper understand of what these women truly endured. While all of this adds to the flavor and significance to the novel, it is the kinship that develops between Lily and Snow Flower that truly captivates the reader. It becomes one of those rare books that you can't put down, learn from and recommend to all of your friends. Read it and you won't regret it.

I usually have short attention span and very little time to read books. But this book keeps me interested and I almost finish the book in another week. It has so many details and I am learning so much about the foot binding culture.

Ein sehr gutes, eindringliches Buch über das Leben im alten China! Eine folgenschwere Entscheidung verbindet das Leben zweier junger Mädchen (10 J.) ein Leben lang und zeigt, wie wenig der Mensch wirklich das Schicksal beeinflussen kann.

a book that will take into the traditional foot binding, laotongs (sisters by friendship) in ancient China. It’s worth reading it.

I loved his book and read it far too quickly. The characters were well developed and touching. Details of traditions were intricate and really educational. This is clearly a brilliant, well reached, well written historical fiction. Absolutely loved it.

Well researched and well written. Kept me reading and on the edge of my seat. Heartbreaking to read about past traditions in China but inspiring to see how women bonded together to lift each other up, if only in the eyes of women but for some in the eyes of men. Now to read more of Lisa See’s books.