How to Be a Woman

Rating 3/10***WARNING-MY REVIEWS OFTEN CONTAIN SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!***Seriously, I quote the book three times. However, I don't know how this book can be ruined....Honestly, this review is tricky. How to be a Woman was first recommended to me by a friend after discussing the fact that I had recently read Jessica Valenti’s Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman’s Guide to Why Feminism Matters. I immediately ordered the book from Amazon, mostly because I trusted the friend and I am a sucker for a book with an eye-catching cover. Caitlin Moran sold me with her shock of white running through her hair and the fact that she is not being dubbed as the ‘new face of feminism’.I was an easy sell.Somewhere, lost in the recesses of my brain, was the remembrance of not actually getting much from Valenti’s book and the fact that maybe using it as a guide for further book purchases was not my smartest idea.So, yes, if I am completely truthful, I did not enjoy this book. I think I don’t particularly like Caitlin Morgan as a person. I don’t relate to her in the least. We would not have been friends in real life. I put the book down several times and almost didn’t pick it up again, yet sheer determination pushed me through. However, this wasn’t the worst book I’ve ever read. I simply don’t think it was meant for me. (And that doesn’t mean it isn’t meant for you, dear reader!… but then, maybe it does.)What I liked about the book:Moran makes some very good points. For example, the word ‘feminism’ has been skewed overtime to represent something ugly and bad. Feminists are frequently seen as very low creatures, aiming to destroy men and piss on family virtues. This simply isn’t true. On the word ‘feminism’ she states:“We need the word “Feminism” back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29 percent of American women would describe themselves as feminist- and only 42 of British women- I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of “liberation for women” is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? “Vogue,” by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good s*** GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF SURVEY?These days, however, I am much calmer- since I realized that it’s technically impossible for a woman to argue against feminism. Without feminism, you wouldn’t be allowed to have a debate on a woman’s place in society. You’d be too busy giving birth on the kitchen floor- biting on a wooden spoon, so as not to disturb the men’s card game before going back to hoeing the rutabaga field.” (p.75)These sections of the book are gold… for someone who maybe doesn’t already realize they are a feminist. However, I am fully aware of the gender inequalities in my life and already associate myself with the label “feminist” without any hesitation. (Feminism is a GOOD thing. For everyone!)In this sense, the book is probably more prolific for younger girls, as the ‘ah ha!’ moments for me were non-existent.I appreciated that Moran comes from a low income family and is open to talking about the struggles with some element of humor (maybe I didn’t GET the humor, but at least it was there).I also appreciated some of the variety of chapters represented. For example, she discusses fat shaming and the view of women who choose to remain childless. These are topics we should be discussing (and perhaps aren’t discussed enough), but I was left thinking that I perhaps would have enjoyed them more as short essays I read over the span of a year or so, and not in a book to be read in one sitting.I certainly got waaay too much Caitlin Moran.I seem to be doing a terrible job at discussing the positives…Moving forward.What I didn’t like about the book:She uses an excessive number of exclamation points and it appears that her keyboard is frequently set on caps lock.I did not need an entire chapter on what to name your breasts and vagina. I have never called mine anything other than breasts and vagina (even if, in Moran’s opinion, that is simply so clinical no woman does that except in a medical setting) nor have I ever made this a common discussion with other women. Additionally, I don’t readily know any other women who have, and I don’t consider her application of twitter to be remotely scientific enough to make broad sweeping statements about the topic. I was this close to putting the book down for good here, but I’m glad I didn’t because the very next chapter was the one on discovering feminism, which I will admit to having some good points.Caitlin Moran does something I used to do in high school and early college. My sister called it using ‘Bekah-isims’. Basically, (what you have probably already surmised) a Bekahism was something I would say with complete confidence and give the appearance of being correct enough to be true… even if maybe I wasn’t 100% sure. Bekahisms usually occurred when I was relatively sure of what I was saying, though, infrequently was a it ever applied with any sort of research or data to support the statement.Moran totally uses Bekahisms… er, Caitlinisms… throughout the entire book. She would make entire arguments (read: chapters) without any evidence of real research other that what she ‘thinks’ to be accurate. I fully believe that she probably thinks what she says sounds good (right even!) and everything she knows in her world supports these claims… but that doesn’t necessarily make it true. I craved a citation or two, but was largely disappointed.She is offensive and at times uses excessively vulgar language to make a point. This is another one of those problems I had with the book that might be related to my age and maturity level. A younger version of myself probably would have relished these sections, yet now, it just felt like she was trying too hard and the language turned me off to this ‘new feminism’ she’s raving about. For her to at one point discuss political correctness in society and give a definition of PC, she used a lot of offensive terminology. Additionally, she has an entire chapter on fat shaming and how the word ‘fat’ is wielded as a weapon, then turns to use words that can be extremely offensive to another group of people.I think the best way I can describe this is as an example… in her prolog she states:“I am, by and large, boundlessly positive. I have all the joyful ebullience of a retard.” (p. 5)Um, seriously???I probably re-read that line fifteen times deciding if I was going to continue or not (or to determine if I hallucinated). Did she really just say that? I mean, doesn’t she have an editor to tell her, yes you can be offensive sometimes and be funny, but sometimes crossing a line is a bad, bad, very bad idea? The fact that little tidbits are just thrown around so casually astounded me.And don’t get me started on the C word. She looooves that one. I was cringing reading an entire damn chapter because of it. (And maybe that was her point. I get it, I do, but I don’t like it and I’m not going to support her when she uses it about 100 times.) Shocking word choices are really not my jam. #sorrynotsorryMoran and I have very different ideas of humor. I didn’t laugh out loud once. At times I was vaguely amused, but I didn’t find her to be hilarious like so many people find her to be. (But, hell, I’m more of a sarcasm-goes-a-long-way sort of person myself… so there’s that.)She misused a Harry Potter reference. This is a personal pet peeve of mine, as a massive HP nerd. In the ‘I am fat!’ chapter she says:“The idea of suggesting we don’t have to be fat- that things could change= is the most distant and alien prospect of all. We’re fat now and we’ll be fat forever and we must never, ever mention it, and that is the end of it. It’s like Harry Potter’s Sorting Hat. We were pulled from the hat maked “Fat: and that is where we must remain, until we die.” (p. 103)Um, no. Clearly you have never read Harry Potter because the Sorting Hat lets you choose! Ugh. If you’re going to use massively popular pop culture references, please get them right! Huge fail. Huge.Now, reading all this, you may wonder why I have given this book 3.5 stars instead of zero. Truthfully, I could have rambled on about How to be a Woman for another couple thousand words, but let’s be honest, no one wants to read that. Probably the best way to find out if this book is for you is to go to a local bookstore and read the ‘I am a feminist!’ chapter (Yes, she uses an exclamation point at the end of every chapter). It contains both aspects I loved, and moments I hated. I think it is a well-rounded approach to determining whether or not to spend the dollars on this book.Additionally, I DO think How to be a Woman is more relevant to younger women who are first discovering feminism and more open to her colorful word choices. I’m no prude, I just found it a tad exhausting. A younger me may not have considered it so. If I ever reproduce and have a daughter, I would probably encourage her to read this in her later-teenage years.Just a personal note: I ordered this book with Mindy Kaling’s Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) and enjoyed it immensely more than How to be a Woman. If you’re on the fence between the two, go with Kaling.This review is also available on Goodreads and on my blog Bekah's Bookmark.

"Sometimes you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal,"* and you want to give copies to everyone you know, even hand them out like liquidation sale fliers to strangers on the street. This is not one of those books. Kidding, totally kidding. Caitlin Moran absolutely nails it. I read the cover advertisement heralding "How To Be a Woman" as "the British version of Tina Fey's `Bossypants,'" and thought, yeah right, I bet the pages of this book aren't even worthy of wiping Tina Fey's a$$ on a camping trip; Tina'd sooner use poison ivy. My skepticism of the parallel turned out to be warranted: Moran's book is way better than "Bossypants."To start with, Moran is a descriptive genius. A hilarious descriptive genius. In one breath she proclaims "a lifelong affection for camp, waspy men who show their love with increasingly vile insults (`Hello, Repulsive')" and with the next describes fingering as "the slightly more grown-up version of a toddler's implacable desire to jam their fingers into DVD players." Wrinkles? "Lines and grayness are nature's way of telling you not to f^&% with someone - the equivalent of the yellow-and-black banding on a wasp. . . ." Drugs? When her boyfriend insults and debases Moran in front of others she says, "I'm so embarrassed that I take Ecstasy, just for something to do with my face." Domesticity? She writes that a husband reacts to his wife splurging on something nice for herself "as if you've just stabbed [him] quite violently in the balls with a fork, left the fork there, and then hung your coat on it while you go and have a bath."But her real feat, contributing in a meaningful way to the modern feminist cause with wit and mirth, is matched only by Tina Fey on "Saturday Night Live" and "30 Rock" and Mindy Kaling on "The Office" and "The Mindy Show," AND NEITHER ONE OF THEM PULLED IT OFF IN HER OWN BOOK. (Mindy! Tina! Please, I liked your book. Really, I did. Just not this much.) Here are some of my favorite examples of Moran's uniquely literary brand of humorous feminism:- "Women wear heels because they think they make their legs look thinner, end of. They think that by effectively walking on tiptoes, they're slimming their legs down from a size 14 to a size 10. But they aren't of course. There is a precedent for a big fat leg dwindling away into a point - and it's on a pig."- "I wholeheartedly believe that, should they wish to, strident feminists are allowed to flirt their way to the top, without compromising their strident feminist principles one smidge. . . . [After all] "[y]our male peers are flirting with their male bosses constantly."- "At 14, I am an experiment. Inside, I am being resurrected. I am in the middle of the kind of explosion of perspective that, in later years, I will pay a great deal of money to emulate in nightclubs, and at parties, in bathrooms - counting out tenners for pills in order to feel a tenth this remorseless, expanded, and inspired."- "With female fertility being presented as something limited and due to vanish quite soon, there's a risk of women panicking and having a baby `just in case' - in much the same way they panic and buy a half-price cashmere cardigan two sizes too small in a sale."- "[I]n the real world, we know that women who always blow-dry their hair before leaving the house are freaks: any mother at the school gates with a glossy bob is subject to pitying looks from the other mothers, who can't believe she wasted 20 minutes, and a lot of upper-arm strength, zazzing her riah for any event less momentous than publicly announcing her engagement to Kiefer Sutherland at Cannes."- "When the subject turns to abortion, cosmetic intervention, birth, motherhood, sex, love, work, misogyny, fear, or just how you feel in your own skin, women still won't often tell the truth to each other unless they are very, very drunk. Perhaps the endlessly reported rise in female binge drinking is simply modern women's attempt to communicate with each other. Or maybe it is because Sancerre is so very delicious."- "I've read more about Oprah Winfrey's arse than I have about the rise of China as an economic superpower. I fear this is no exaggeration. Perhaps China is rising as an economic superpower because its women aren't spending all their time reading about Oprah Winfrey's arse."- "[T]he reason these instances [of sexism] are so pernicious and damaging is the element of doubt involved. Are they being sexist on purpose or is it just some accidental sexism, due to carelessness and stupidity?"As a former desk jockey, I both agree (with the flirting and "just some accidental sexism" points) and disagree (Moran, keep your grubby mom-hands off my high heels). I don't think I buy her "is it polite?" catchline for ferreting out sexism, but one of the very best parts of the book is that I don't feel like I have to. Moran champions an individualization of feminism in which each woman can make her own judgment calls and feminist policy (like Moran's "no" to strip clubs and "yes" to burlesque) without apologizing. The Quaker in me likes that. The mom in me also found plenty to feel good about. And the woman in me is dancing on a metaphorical table in my prettiest bra and panties waving the book over my head."How To Be a Woman" is the kind of book that makes me want to demote all the others to which I've awarded five-stars. Now I know why people devised the 5.0 GPA scale and the generalissimo.*John Green, "The Fault in Our Stars"

Caitlin Moran is quite rightly a famous and well regarded writer. Self deprecating and humorous but perhaps only good for article length writings.Fortunately, her life has been interesting enough to justify the book length but some of her conclusions as to the Meaning of Life could well have been summed up as 42, they had that much impact on this reader. I didn't feel that I learnt anything new about women as a result of reading this book but it is without doubt an entertaining and amusing treatise.

I haven't laughed so much whilst reading in years. I also haven't thought so deeply about what it means to be a woman the same age as Caitlin Moran in this day and age. Very glad I've read this, now I'm going to read 'How to build a girl'!

Very funny, open and brutally honest. Most of us females can relate to this and m sure.

This is worth reading for Caitlin's refreshing take on abortion, if for nothing else. She, quite rightly, gets rather hot under the collar about various other 'women's' issues too!Overall a very funny and a enjoyable read.

Such a good read! Loved it and laughed out loud so many times that people on the plane were staring!!