RIVERHEAD The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters

It was a great book. I never keep books. I always pass them on but this one I’m keeping!

Buen libro

I am an inveterate gatherer, both professionally (having spent much of my career bringing international groups together) and personally (as a gregarious hostess) and this book has made me think very differently about how and why I gather. It is a real treasure trove, beautifully written and full of examples from diverse worlds. I have already given it as a present to half a dozen people and I know it will be a resource that I constantly refer back to. Here are three of my favorite takeaways from the book: 1. Get really clear why you are gathering. Parker believes “Gathering, the conscious bringing together of a group of people for a reason – shapes the way we think, feel and make sense of our world.” She challenges us to think deeply about why we are gathering - to be really conscious and consequent about it. She asks "What do you want to be different because you have gathered? Clarity of purpose is more than an inspiring concept according to Parker; it’s a tool that helps you make decisions about every aspect of the gathering. If you haven’t a clear purpose” Parker advises “Do a casual hangout, or give people their valuable time back.” 2. Practice “Generous Exclusion” How often are our meetings or social gatherings hijacked by politeness, by feeling uncomfortable leaving someone out? She asks the question “Who, despite being irrelevant to the purpose do you feel obliged to invite?” Parker argues generous exclusion is a “way of bounding a gathering that allows the diversity to be heightened and sharpened rather than diluted in a hodgepodge of people” 3. Exercise Generous Authority “A gathering run on generous authority is run with a strong confident hand, but is run selflessly for the sake of others.” Parker argues that when we host a gathering we have the responsibility to “protect our guests, equalise our guests, and connect our guests.” Failing to exercise authority (often because we may not want to be seen to be pushy) is to Parker an abdication of our responsibility as host, and far too often impedes the achievement of the stated purpose.

This book lets you think about gatherings and what is the root cause of it. And plenty of things about differents aspects of gatherings. Sometimes little long on personal exemple but it worths the time spent reading it.

I loved this book so much and found I was talking to friends about it, even before I had finished reading it. The book is well-written and filled with ideas for different ways to gather. Would thoroughly recommend.