Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

I had heard the buzz about Sheryl Sandberg's Lead In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead that many of you may have heard as well. Written by an elitist with a double Harvard degree who was mentored by Larry Summers (gasp!) and is worth hundreds of millions in stock from Google and Facebook (oh no!), she couldn't possibly have anything to say to women in less fortunate positions. It was a vanity book designed to elevate Facebook (really?). I have to admit that it has been a long time since I remember a book being so roundly condemned by so many who hadn't even read it. The fact that a book authored by a woman about women was raising such a stink intrigued me. If I hadn't planned to read it before, I certainly looked forward to reading it now. I should be used to pundits being wrong. Honestly, there were some points in this book that almost had me wishing I were thirty years younger and still working. It takes a lot to do that. I am happy with my life (except for the grief part) and I don't generally envy the lot of today's working women. Lean In is not so much a feminist manifesto, as it is a hands-on guide to how a woman can think about and alter her chances for success. From the cultural inhibitions that women internalize to the social judgments levied on our performance, Sandberg presents possibilities for change. She addresses many of the same issues I tried to deal with in my career. And although I did okay, I know that some of the advice she offers would have made it possible for me to do a lot more. (Of course in those days she could not have attended Harvard. Or Yale. And COO of Facebook? Not likely.) Times have changed since Betty Friedan. Women can now attend Harvard. Women can become the COO of Facebook. But not enough of them do. And that is what Sandberg is trying to change with Lean In. Well researched and documented, Sandberg uses statistics, personal anecdotes, and stories from other successful women to present her case. She then uses some common sense, more research, and creative thinking to propose solutions. From the book: "I am fully aware that most women are not focused on changing social norms for the next generation but simply trying to get through each day. Forty percent of employed mothers lack sick days and vacation leave, and about 50 percent of employed mothers are unable to take time off to care for a sick child. 21 Only about half of women receive any pay during maternity leave. 22 These policies can have severe consequences; families with no access to paid family leave often go into debt and can fall into poverty. 23 Part-time jobs with fluctuating schedules offer little chance to plan and often stop short of the forty-hour week that provides basic benefits. 24 Too many work standards remain inflexible and unfair, often penalizing women with children. Too many talented women try their hardest to reach the top and bump up against systemic barriers. So many others pull back because they do not think they have a choice. All of this brings me back to Leymah Gbowee's insistence that we need more women in power. When leadership insists that these policies change, they will. Google put in pregnancy parking when I asked for it and it remains there long after I left. We must raise both the ceiling and the floor." Yes, Sheryl Sandberg has had a storied career, leaving her worth close to a billion dollars, named as one of Forbes top five most powerful women in the world, but then, who would want to read a book by a failure? Who wants advice from someone who hasn't succeeded in making a difference? Maybe this is all just an evil plot to grow Facebook's audience and the value of her stock. Or maybe it just is what she says it is. A way forward for women and their life partners. (She devotes an entire chapter to how important a life partner is to anyone's success in life.) Lean In doesn't have to have all of the answers in order to be pointing in the right direction. It is clear that the women's movement has stalled: on Friday North Dakota passed the most repressive anti-women laws the nation has ever seen, virtually denying women the rights guaranteed by Roe vs Wade, and we learned that NYPD officers have been ordered to run criminal record checks on the victims of domestic abuse. Clearly we need to do something. Until we have a greater share of power, our rights will continue to be dictated to us by others. It is time women started reaching for the levers of power in corporations, institutions and governments. Lean In doesn't stop with the last page. In addition to her TED talk, she has set up, of course, a Facebook page, and a website looking to continue the conversation. She envisions women meeting in small (8 to 12) Lean In Circles to learn from each other and support each other's growth. Small circles that have been disparagingly referred to as a throwback to the consciousness raising of times gone by. What her critics forget is that those consciousness raising parties did a lot of good back in the day. Jodi Kantor, of the New York Times, in an attempt to show how evil this plot is, published a copy of the document that is being circulated to potential corporate partners in the Lean In movement. (BTW, said corporate partners are only asked the use of their logos and endorsement, not funding, and their support for their employees who chose to join the circles.) I read the document, which I found here: [...] And wish that when my girlfriends and I got together during the 70s in an informal support group at a nearby watering hole that we could have had access to the material and format of the new Lean In Circles. We got the job done, and helped other women move along their career paths, but not nearly enough and not quickly enough. All profits from her book go to LeanIn.org which is a non-profit public benefit corporation that runs the website of the same name. Lean In is not for all women. Nor is it meant to be. Not all women want a high powered career and a family. But for those who do, and for their partners, it is a book well worth reading.

The gap between the potential of women coming from college and the paucity of women in leadership roles is what concerns Sheryl Sandberg as well. By this point, she has spread her message of leaning in through many forums. Sandberg has a successful TED talk that has been watched almost4.5 million times; she has a national number one bestseller with the book "Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead"; she has extended the franchise with a social network where women can form "Lean In Circles" where women can encourage each other; finally, she has put out a new expanded edition of her book branded for college graduates. Lean In has a basic message for women - lean in! But what is leaning in? In broad strokes it is accepting that the structural limitations for success of women exist and empowering women who by giving them a blueprint for growth both inside and outside of the workplace. It is about setting boundaries and working towards a more equitable world. There are twelve chapters, and they all speak an empowering truth that does not come across too much like a self-help book. In the introduction, Sandberg posits that we can have a more equal world, "one where women ran half of countries and companies and men ran half our homes" (Lean In 7). Chapter two speaks to the gap between college success and the amount of leaders in commerce and industry, which Sandberg inverts, saying that though there are the structural issues holding women back, there are in fact issues internal to women, in that there is a "Leadership Ambition Gap" (ibid 12). Though not included here in the book, this for me is well illustrated with one fact: "A recent McKinsey & Company study reported that internal research at Hewlett Packard found that women only applied to open positions if they felt they met 100 percent of the criteria, compared to only 60 percent for men." (Kenal) Men are not afraid to ask for a job even if they're not qualified because they think they can do the job or learn on the job. Women, conversely, opt out, since as Sandberg notes, "Most leadership positions are held by men, so women don't expect to achieve them and that becomes one of the reasons they don't." (22). After Sandberg describes what she sees as the problem, she has some concrete advice that can be applied more generally. Chapter two, titled "Sit at the Table," encourages women to do just that. Generally, women might exclude themselves from conversation by sitting back even when they are invited to literally sit at the table (27). Charisma has an important role in leadership, and getting people to like you can be a difficult battle for anyone in the workplace. Chapter three focuses on the paradoxical nature of success for women. Studies have shown that successful men are often well liked. The converse is true for women. The more successful a woman is, people of both genders will like her less (40). This is, Sandberg posits, because there are so few women in powerful roles and their otherness makes them a source for scorn. She is hopeful though, for a time when more women have leaned in so that "If women held 50 of top jobs, it would not be possible to dislike that many people" (50). Chapter four emphasizes that there are many ways to the top by bringing a metaphor about a jungle gym to replace the common perception of a ladder. Chapter five focuses on mentorship, the importance of finding on the way up, and of being one once you are at the top. She notes the potential weakness of this because there are so many more men than women at the top, so mentorship as existing reinforces the old-boys network (71). Chapter six, "See and speak your truth exhorts women to not hold back in communication, but to be smart about it, so that "Communication works best when we combine appropriateness with authenticity, finding that sweet spot where opinions are not brutally honest but delicately honest" (78). So once you have joined your place at the table, you need to speak up. Chapter seven, for me, is the heart of the book, mainly because I can relate to the situation. In "Don't Leave Before You Leave," Sandberg's message is simple - go full bore until you can no longer go. Take the opportunities that are presented to you and don't turn them away because of choices you might make in the future. Sandberg illustrates this well with a story of a women worried about work-life balance in the future with a child. The kicker being that the women was not even seeing anyone at the time (92). By disqualifying yourself because of these future decisions, you put yourself on the track to not have other opportunities in the future, ironically limiting your future options. Chapter eight focus on the home, making sure that your partner is a full participant at home. This has added benefits, as research shows that equality between partners leads to happier relationships (118). This is improving, since partnership is a micro-level issue that happens "one family at a time" and men of younger generations are more willing to be equitable partners (120). Chapter nine tries to break down the "Myth of Doing It All," where Sandberg recognizes that there are limits to how much one can do in the day when it comes to family, work, and personal time. She knows that you can't do everything and we should be able to accepts that "Done is better than perfect" (129) in terms of the accomplishing goals (a mantra I myself want to adopt). She tells a story of forgetting her son's green t-shirt on Saint Patrick's day to show that she herself can be fallible. The chapter closes with her definition of success: "Making the best choices we can...and accepting them" (139). The last two chapters are about naming the problem, starting a dialogue based on the recommendations in the book, and moving forward to creating a world where those fifty percent of companies and households are led by women in a more equal society. Importantly, Sandberg recognizes some of the limitations of leaning in, noting "I am fully aware that most women are not focused on changing social norms for the next generation but simply trying to get through each day" (169). Ultimately, the book is structured in a way that describes the problem, outlines solutions, and provides a way forward for people to make these changes. Thankfully, these are not those broad policy prescriptions that have no hope of being enacted, but instead they are actions most women can make so that they are not left behind.

Lectura fácil sobre la experiencia femenina. Súper recomendable!!!

Did not impact me as a woman much. It targets working moms specifically and not women in general in the workplace. Nice to read if you ran out of new books ideas but did not make any impact.

I don't really enjoy the capitalistic feminism in which women are superior and men are not or women are always the victims and men attack. This book was more about humanism and equal rights. It's not about women taking advantage for granted but more like, women should also work hard enough. Also, the business (or the world) has been so man-centric which resulted in disregarding woman's needs. Women have been forced to work and live in a man-centric world and the author was saying that we should come forth to speak out. Also, we should respect one's choice. We shouldn't blame women who want to work after giving birth. Also, we should support when a man quits to take care of his children. Although by the end of the book, the story becomes a bit like feminism but to a rational level only. It was very relevant to current society and enlightening.

Loved this book! It is not just the author's personal opinion, but rather a review of research as well as anecdotal information from many sources. Easy to read and reflect on ideas presented. The reader will view the world a little differently specifically related to gender issues. Young women and even older women need to read this as it can be quite affirming - wish this book was around when I was starting my career. But just as importantly, men should also read this book. It is an eye opener.....organizations are still not reaching their full potential if senior management is not gender balanced - this book talks about ways to maximize the talent pool, by encouraging women to "lean in" and overcome obstacles that prevent them from "sitting at the table". What organization would not want to do that?

Sheryl Sandberg has it all : the husband, the kids and the C position at Facebook. She thinks, with reason, that we need more women in leading positions and that it's the only way to stop the constant questions on whether women can lead. In this book she reflects on how women can leverage every opportunity to break the glass ceiling and be sucessfull in their career, while not giving up on their personal life. The message is : you can have what you want, but you're going to need to be assertive. And that is hard, because as a woman, you've been raised being told agressiveness is a bad thing when you're a woman - but a rewarded quality when you are a man.It's not fair to either men or women, and it's time we discuss the effects of these gender roles so we can move on. There are a lot of things in this book about being a mother and a wife while having a career, but it will speak to all women because they will find a lot of things to relate to, and a lot of interesting thoughts on what it is like to be a working woman today. A must read.