F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

As a psychotherapist with 30 years experience I liked the basic approach- sometimes it's time to stop overthinking and just accept and move on. But this isn't the right approach every time or for everyone and he doesn't recognize that. Some of his examples of "you can't expect to get this" are things my clients have been able to get. Some of his other "factual real-life" promulgations are likewise wrong. His agenda of being controversial leads him to too much black and white thinking and that skews his view of what the reality actually is. The book is good for challenging some assumptions about what therapy should look like and what it can do, but be careful in applying it that you don't become TOO accepting and forego changes that act an be made.

For too much of my life I was stuck in the "but things should be different" rut. This book, using many many examples, was a big help in getting me out of the rut and into life. It asks the question, "What is reasonable to expect?" instead of "What is the ideal solution in a perfect world?" I got the help I needed, both mental and medical, and am generally happier than I have been in decades (really truly literally).Let me just be clear: this book was an impetus, not a solution, but it did reveal the perspective I needed in my life.

It's astounding how the authors take nearly 350 pages to reiterate variations on the Serenity Prayer. Literally, every chapter is just a variation of "Don't worry about not being perfect, but here's some things you can do", but delivered in such repetitive and anodyne (the liberal use of profanity just highlights how pedestrian the observations are) language, that you just zone out. Staring every chapter with a topic typically addressed by psychotherapy, and then proceeding to explain and demonstrate how and when you SHOULD care about the "___________" is also amusingly self-contradictory. The authors might be effective therapists in person, but you'd be better off spending $200/hour to sit on their sofa than spending $15 for several hours wasted on this book.

There is some helpful information in this book, such as, how to determine what you can change and what you can't. Overall, the author seems very pessimistic about transformational possibilities in people. As a licensed psychoanalyst in NY, I have worked with individuals who have made deep and lasting changes in long tern therapy processes, which this author devalues. Healing from trauma, sexual abuse, relational abuse, depression...all of these processes take time. He also defines a number of therapy processes poorly and inaccurately. I'm not a prude about profanity, and when you're in pain, angry, or experiencing other strong emotions, it is very satisfying, but this author just talked toilet mouth through the whole book.

Takes a cavalier and insensitive approach to those who really need some guidance in dealing with their feelings, especially during times of high stress. This book almost makes seeking help a total JOKE. But it is NOT a funny joke, and it is irresponsible. I would grade this book "F-" and that would be a high one for this trashy, canned and silly book.

This book isn't super encouraging, but it's very realistic and matter-of-fact. If you aren't into the whole woo-woo "the universe/god is working in your favor if you let it" approach to self-help, you will probably like this one as it is very scientifically based and no-nonsense. However if you are looking for a pick-me-up that makes you feel better about your situation immediately, this one might not be the best.

Praise:This book contains a treasure of wisdom, centered on accepting life's imperfections and limitations, working with them, instead of against them. This attitude is similar to the ideas of the stoic philosophers. It is also similar to the scientific method, which never asks how things ought to be, only how they are. There are many valuable passages; I'll share one:"If your career happens to lack prestige or follows an unconventional, restless path, don’t criticize yourself. Respect yourself all the more for having found a way to meet standards using equipment you didn’t choose and given habits that are hard to break."This is a refreshing antidote to the obnoxious, "follow your passion and become a new person" poison.Criticism:The book is at least one third longer than it needs to be, to communicate its content. Part of the excess includes unhelpful attempts at humor, timely pop culture references, and cursing. I admit the authors put "f*ck" right there in the title to grab attention but still, they wore me out with their "cleverness."These elements serve to "date" the book, so that its tone will sound hokey in a couple of years. (Indeed, it sounds that way to me already.) I'll be sad when that happens. This book deserves to become a classic.My American culture tragically overvalues entertainment in all forms, and humor especially. A laugh that is occasional, natural, based on real world observation, is always welcome. Compulsive humor, forced fun is rather sickening.

Wow! Straight talk life advice that pulls no punches in the most amusing way possible. I laughed so hard at this book, even while reading the parts for my particular difficulties. It's a rare book that can tell make you laugh while calling you out on your part of the BS. I love it. I'm going to keep it forever. Any issues that you're having in life can be handled through this book. You'd be hard-pressed to find anything like it. I call this my portable psychiatrist. If you want to skip the talking, and get straight to the solution- buy this now.

found the book boring.

After 45 years of stress I read one section of this book and it fixed me.

interesting and funny but discouragingly complex

It was a great book covering many different possibilities. Some of which really resonated with me. There were times I could not put the book down. It has certainly helped ground me again after difficult times. It will help me in the future deal with difficult delimmas. It is also very funny ... Some of the letter examples I could identify with directly. It made me feel that I am not alone with my problems as their are others that have had similar experiences.

I am only a few chapters into this book, but the moment I purchased it and put it onto my social media such as instagram and snapchat, I received tons of good feedback in the sense that many people wanted to borrow the book and read it themselves as they have also heard good things about this book. I would say people want to read this book because it'll help people overcome their feelings to better their lives by caring less about what people do or say about them.