Are You Sitting Down? Paperback – November 10, 2010

I stumbled upon a post by Shannon Yarbrough on the Kindle Forum... I wasn't familiar with his work. I am so glad that I read this novel. First off, my impression was that it would be a realistic Midwestern family drama. As I got further immersed in the book, I began to see that it is in fact a deeply Southern tale, concerned with secrets, sex and death. The book opens with a death, in fact; the father, Frank White, has a stroke while his wife Lorraine weeps at his side. Yarbrough does death scenes in an unusual and interesting way. They are strangely intimate, as we see the thoughts of the dying person as they fade out of the world. Their thoughts are for their loved one, but the implication is that they are being freed from something messy and sad. In fact, the family that Frank is leaving behind is not really a happy one. Each adult child has secrets which they haven't shared with the others; each carries burdens and regrets and shame. The anchor of the book is the third child Travis, a gay man who has lost his lover Justin to cancer. Each person reflects on their life in short chapters, making this a many-angled novel of unusual depth.Travis is an outsider to the family, living in Memphis while the others have stayed in the small town aptly named Ruby Dregs. (The foul rag and bone shop of the heart, anyone?) While he adores his mother, he realizes at the end of the book that he hasn't been as close to her as he thought. The driving plot of the book is the leadup to the family Christmas, where all the Whites will be together. This Christmas, it's well-behaved Travis's turn to make a scene--a shocking outburst that had me laughing out loud, but also keenly aware, as a gay person, how painful it is to always be the person pushed aside and not central in a family. Another highlight of the book is Travis's first visit to the Ruby Dregs cemetery to see Justin's headstone, which he has picked out. In a powerful scene, an old black woman selling flowers seems to be channeling Justin's spirit as she brings Travis messages from beyond the grave. "Are You Sitting Down?" deals with themes of forgiveness, reconciliation, and a journey to wholeness, but Yarbrough's writing makes clear that death is always just around the corner and that despite the hope of family togetherness, each of us is stumbling through life alone dealing with our past and our secrets.There's another element to the story. Justin's parents, the Blacks, are painted as truly toxic. In fact, as we see more of Justin's father, who initially seems like a mild-mannered, obese old man, we get peeks into the mind of a sociopath. To deal with love, death AND evil... this novel takes on a lot, posing destabilizing questions about reality at every turn.Here is a quote that seems to sum up the spirit of the novel. It comes as the Whites' youngest daughter, Clare, is thinking about what she found when she looked through her father's desk after he died. "Sometimes we yearn for the truth that we think is hidden from us. It's only when we find the truth we've been looking for that we often wish we didn't know after all, and then we see why it was kept from us in the first place."

I guess I had a little different reaction than many readers as the loneliness of each of the characters resonated with me throughout the book. Having grown up in a dysfunctional family (but not nearly as dysfunctional as this one), where family get-togethers were torture for me, and I always felt alone and isolated, this book brought up a lot of memories and issues for me that I'd just as soon forget...But--I could not stop reading the book...it was compelling and thought provoking...but nearly every page brought up some kind of pain either for me or in thinking about someone I knew outside of my family having similar pain...One issue I had with this book is multiple grammatical errors, word misuse errors, verb tense errors and typos-about 25 in all (which was quite irritating having to go back and re-read sentences to make sure you had not misread something) and I really wasn't paying attention for any for punctuation errors...it really needs to be edited. This is part of why I rated it a 3, rather than a 4, but not the primary reason.Of course the 2 most common their vs there was found and also to vs tooHarder to understand (why) was a person "wondering" around the house rather than wandering (happened twice) and children playing "in the floor" rather than "on the floor" (happened twice)...that is more than a typographical error, it shows a lack of knowledge of the English language.I did think the ending was perfect though...one reviewer commented they thought there should have been more, but I disagree...You needed to wonder at the end of the book how life went on for these people...the story was essentially about their last Christmas together although no one but the mother knew it would be the last one...and all the inner turmoil of each of the members of this family as they spent this day together, although most of them did not want to be there.I would also disagree with reviewers who call this a "southern book". Family dysfunction, lies and secrets, have no geographical boundaries. Families like this exist all over this country and all over the world.By the time I finished this book I really could not decide if I liked it, or of I hated it for making me think of things I no longer want to...but I decided that was MY issue, not the authors...I have a feeling there are many people who will see themselves or family members in these pages, and there will be no happy endings for them (and the end is an attempt at a somewhat happy ending) there will be no feelings of "oh what a great book"......this is a sad and depressing book...not at all what most people look for when choosing a book...so if you come from a dysfunctional family, you might want to think twice about wanting to dredge up the pain.Because of this I rated it a 3 rather than a 4...It was just a little too depressing for me.

The chapter headings reveal its particular narrator and if you're listening to this on Kindle's text-to-speech, you might find yourself wondering what just happened if you miss a narrator change.A particularly dark tale of the dirty deeds of others or the dirty deeds of one's own making. A rape. A pawing boss with the means to make your life miserable. A deadly overdose. A pervert. An illicit affair. Murder. Some are less dirty deed than they are secret. A discovery in a hidden place. The skeletons are falling out of the closet faster than the door can be shut on them while some you never see coming such as the smack to the kisser.It's a tale of the Blacks and the Whites. And I don't mean skin color but surnames. While the Whites have their own secrets, who's to say the Black's secrets aren't well... blacker?What I liked about the story: While I'd like to say `the shock value,' that might suggest I enjoy those types of things taking place, which I don't. But let's face it. Reading about it is what makes a story.Though extraneous parts could have been omitted, there were other parts where fleshing out would have definitely benefited the story. There is so much shock factor and very little conclusion taking place. The reader is left to surmise what happens to one person while not understanding why some information is never revealed by a particular person. Why so secret about it?Anyway, that's my opinion.

Are You Sitting Down? – Shannon YarbroughLorraine White gets all five of her children and grandchildren back to their home in Dogwood to celebrate Christmas.Lorraine, Martin, Travis, Ellen, Sebastian and Clare each tell us their stories, their secrets and fears, their past and we also get a glimpse through them of what future they’re hoping for.I highlighted several passages in the book that I found so beautiful, so descriptive of what and how families don’t really need to talk. How we each hide things from our families but somehow, they’re guessed by them.I thought this was a truly beautiful book about family bonding. Members of a family trying to enjoy that special time that gathering at Christmas time is supposed to bring to all of us, but …. there’s always our little secrets, angsts, worries and past that still manage to come into our minds on these occasions thus interfering with our happy smiley exteriors.

I did enjoy reading this, and felt like I was getting a glimpse into other peoples lives.I don't like putting in spoilers but only gave it 4 stars because I felt there were a couple of fairly major events that I would have liked to see being expanded on, but overall I found this book to be entertaining and I thought the characters were very good, I would actually like to read a follow up book to see what is going to happen to them next,I think there is more milage in this family story, and I would definately read another book about them, and would recommend this one.

I enjoyed this book. It is written from the POV of each character. It is very well written and edited etc. The writer writes very movingly. I tried to read it twice before, but this time finished it. It is pretty much as described. There was a couple of surprises when I least expected them. Its not a book with a plot as such, more a look at life. I got this when it was free. Not sure if i would have paid the current price for it. I will keep an eye on the authors other works.

I was lucky to get this book for free as I think the book description may have put me off and I would hate to think I could have missed such a great book. The other reviews are spot on and I would love to read more about the characters and what happens next. I lost track a bit of what % read I was up to so when reading in the early hours of this morning was so upset to see I was on 96%!! When it ended a few minutes later I couldn't start another book and don't know what to read next as my head is still with this book!

After reading this book, it makes one realise that every family had its issues, but looks very calm and serene on the outside.It was well written and kept me wanting to read more.