Maybe You Should Talk To Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

I came across this title accidentally while I was searching online for vampire books written by a new friend. Can't recall exactly why this book called to me other than I'm in my own therapy process. It was an easy and compelling read, written with compassion and full of charming interactions and helpful insights. It has moved me to not only see myself in new ways but also to look at others with a more robust lens of compassion and curiosity, even those I might deem as acting offensively or incomprehensively. This book is a wonderful gift of love to humans.

This book is incredibly well written. It’s full of relatable human moments, profound insights, and a unique perspective on the therapeutic process. I laughed, cried and felt a deep connection with Lori’s story. I’ve always been an advocate for going to therapy but her book makes me excited to do the hard work and work through my own things. It gave me the hope that therapy can be successful and I look forward to finding my Wendell.

I want to start by saying that the hype surrounding this book was to much for what it actually was. The front and back covers were crammed with celebrity endorsements ...maybe that is normal these days, who knows; I have only recently started reading again. But I found it off-putting and not accurate. I am however excited to see what becomes of the tv series. (I learned about this book after reading a Seattle Times article about it). I also read the author's earlier book, Marry Him, years ago. What I found most interesting were the patients, and much less so the author's therapy and life story. I felt like in many she was stereotypical JAP (if this is offensive, please accept my apology) and I also had every impression that she has known a level of financial comfort that many of us can only dream of. She never explains how she is able to both whisk away from work and lost appointments, and pay for, her own therapist. She doesn't explain how she paid for years of medical school only to abandon it to try something else... That said, man, the patient stories of John, Rita and Julie just had me in utter tears. I would have preferred this to be a nonfiction novel of people working through their issues... I will also say that it is quite whiny, very whiny; I wanted to skim through the filler chapters in between the patient stories -- I found myself not caring whatsoever about the author's breakup, her mysterious health ailments, the author's commitment to a project she did not want to do, and even not caring much about the son either... (hate to say it). Even the therapist's therapist, i felt like wanted to be somewhere else and I didn't find him to be a very compelling character. In short, if you want to be moved by people dealing with loss, this is a must read,

Do you know how difficult it is to whisper an ugly cry? I do. There I was at 3:30am, relaxed and enjoying the insight and surprising humour of this book, caught up in a ‘just one more chapter’ loop. Then, out of nowhere, I was ugly crying as quietly as possible so I didn’t wake up the sensible people in my home, those who actually sleep when it’s considered an acceptable time to do so. Okay, so it wasn’t exactly ‘out of nowhere’; I knew it was coming at some stage with that particular patient but I wasn’t expecting it right then. That wasn’t the only time I cried during this book (there may have been another four tissue grabs and some very dignified sniffling involved) and it wasn’t the only time my tears caught me off guard (who knew I’d cry about the patient I initially loved to sneer at!) but it did remind me of some of the reasons why I never formally used my psychology degree. Reason #1: Although I don’t cry a lot about my own stuff, I am a champion crier when it comes to pretty much anything else. Movies. TV shows. Songs. Books. When you cry about your stuff. When I think about your stuff and consider how brave, resilient, [insert any number of adjectives here] you were, are or are going to be. Who wants to come to therapy and feel like they need to console their therapist about their reaction to their patient’s problems?! Reason #2: There would be certain types of people and life experiences where I just know I couldn’t remain impartial. Reason #3: The goodbyes. See Reason #1. Full disclosure: I started reading this book while my own therapist was on leave. Besides confirming my decision to not actually be a therapist (you’re so welcome, all of the people whose lives would have crossed my path in this way. I hope you found a Wendell instead!) I also got a glimpse of what it’s like behind the scenes for therapists, something I’ve always been interested in, something that’s difficult to obtain because of that pesky ‘confidentiality’ thing. I’m not ashamed to say that I have my very own Wendell, who is awesome, by the way. None of us get out of life unscathed and I think pretty much everyone could benefit from therapy at some point in their lives. One of the perks this book offers is a therapeutic ‘try before you buy’; if you’ve been considering therapy but are hesitant to schedule that initial appointment, then reading this book will give you some idea of what to expect - from the therapist, from the experience, and how it looks when it’s done right. “Sitting-with-you-in-your-pain is one of the rare experiences that people get in the protected space of a therapy room, but it’s very hard to give or get outside of it” I enjoyed Lori’s down to earth approach, her compassion and ability to bring truth to a situation, while still making me smile along the way. She humanises our experience of pain and even when she’s talking about her own therapy, her insight and openness had me smiling in recognition much more frequently than the narrative made me cry. Of her own therapy: “Yes, I’m seeking objectivity, but only because I’m convinced that objectivity will rule in my favor.” Of her therapist: “He looks at me meaningfully, like he just said something incredibly important and profound, but I kind of want to punch him.” A quote I love: “defenses serve a useful purpose. They shield people from injury … until they no longer need them. It’s in this ellipsis that therapists work.” And another: “People often mistake numbness for nothingness, but numbness isn’t the absence of feelings; it’s a response to being overwhelmed by too many feelings.” Oh, and I have to share this one too: “When the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it. And having the future taken away is the mother of all plot twists. But if we spend the present trying to fix the past or control the future, we remain stuck in place, in perpetual regret.” I highlighted so many passages in this book that each time I started another binge read it felt like I was experiencing my very own mini therapy session. I saw myself in Lori and in her patients, even the initial ‘love to sneer at’ one, probably because I saw something of myself in them as well. I saw my own therapist in Wendell and felt probably too much pride in having found myself such an amazing ‘Wendell’ to help me navigate my presenting problem as well as the real issues behind the facade. From the presenting problem to the “doorknob disclosures”, “what-aboutery” and self-sabotage, all the way to the “termination” (seriously, can therapists collectively find a less aggressive way to label someone’s graduation from therapy?), I ‘just one more chaptered’ my way through this book. Although at times I felt voyeuristic, have some outstanding questions about Lori’s patients I’m not entitled to know but still want to (Would you please tell me John’s real name or at least the name of the TV show you kept referencing so I can binge watch it?) and had at least one ugly cry headache as a result of reading this book, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend it to pretty much anyone. Much like the way Lori talks about who therapy can’t help, I think the only people who wouldn’t benefit in some way by reading this book are those “who aren’t curious about themselves.” I’ll leave you with what’s currently my favourite quote: “There’s no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn’t be ranked, because pain is not a contest.” Content warnings are included in my Goodreads review.

I read it because it had 46,000 great reviews. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is an enlightening exploration of the human experience through the lens of therapy, written with both depth and humor. The author’s insight into the complexities of life and the intricacies of human emotions resonates throughout the narrative. From the very beginning, the author emphasizes that "most people are what therapists call ‘unreliable narrators,’” reminding us of the importance of perspective in understanding our experiences. This concept is woven through various anecdotes and reflections, illustrating how the narratives we tell ourselves can shape our realities. One powerful takeaway is the idea that “the perfect is the enemy of the good,” encouraging readers to find joy in the imperfections of life. The author’s candid acknowledgment of her own struggles adds an authentic touch, particularly when she states, “The only way out is through,” highlighting the necessity of confronting our pain head-on. The book also tackles significant themes such as loneliness and the need for connection, revealing that many people seek therapy due to a craving for meaningful human interaction. This resonates deeply in our modern world, where isolation can often lead to despair. As the author notes, “You won’t get today back,” reminding us of the urgency to seek fulfillment and connection in our lives. In discussions of the therapeutic process, the author skillfully navigates complex concepts like “forced forgiveness” and the notion that “suffering shouldn’t be ranked,” emphasizing that pain is not a competition. Her assertion that “you can have compassion without forgiving” encourages a nuanced understanding of healing. The book is not just a narrative about therapy; it’s a reflection on what it means to be human. The author’s ability to balance the technical aspects of therapy with relatable anecdotes makes this a compelling read. The exploration of dreams, familial patterns, and the intricacies of the human psyche leaves the reader with a profound understanding of the challenges we all face. Overall, *Maybe You Should Talk to Someone* is a must-read for anyone interested in personal growth, mental health, or simply seeking a deeper understanding of themselves and others. This book will not only change the way you view therapy but also inspire you to embrace your own journey with compassion and courage.

Read this book. It will make you cry, laugh, think, and feel all the feels. Just like your favorite song to dance to, it will move you, delight you, and take you to a place of joy and freedom.

Good behind the scenes look at a therapist's world. Not a self help book as the title may suggest, but shows how training and being a fellow human works in helping people with their problems. Entertaining and insightful for anyone to enjoy.

What a powerful, incredibly poignant book. This isn't just a book about therapy, it's a book about being human. About living, and connection - with others, ourselves, our feelings, life - and about how we learn from each other. The very first sentence of the Author's Note sets the tone: "This is a book that asks, 'How do we change?' and answers with "In relation to others.' " I won't give a summary; you can get that from the blurb and the full title of the book itself serves as a mini-blurb. What I'll say is that I love the way the author's insight into herself, during her own therapy, both informs and *is informed by* her work with her patients, by their insights into themselves, reached with her guidance, as well as by the insights she, in turn, takes from them. But what really struck me was how, as a reader, I too became part of this experience, because there wasn't a part of this book that didn't touch me, and often deeply: In every person's story, the author's and each patient's, though their personalities and circumstances were all very different from each other's and from mine, I found common ground, found my own resonance, even my own insights. Fair warning: If you read this, be prepared to cry, and more than once. But (for me at least) it was the good kind of crying, because these are stories of letting go and acceptance and healing, so the crying is the sort that leaves you feeling vulnerable but washed clean, like after a storm, peaceful and full of hope. But it's not all tears and insights and seriousness; this book is also really funny at times, often at the same time it's touching your heart. And if that doesn't capture in a nutshell what its like, both being in therapy and being human, I don't know what does. I highly recommend this book to anyone with feelings, whether or not you have ever been in therapy, considered it, or are a therapist yourself; but maybe *especially* if you have been, or are. And yep, I *totally* recc'd this to my own therapist :D I'll close with one of my favorite touchingly humorous and human moments from this book: SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT “Is that a pajama top?” Julie asks as she walks into my office. It’s the afternoon after the [...] Incident, right before my appointment with [....], and I’ve almost made it through the day. I give her a quizzical look. “Your shirt,” she says, settling onto the couch. I flash back to the morning, to the gray sweater I intended to wear and then, with a sinking feeling, to the image of the sweater laid out on my bed next to the gray pajama top I’d taken off before stepping into the shower [...]. Oh God. [...] had gotten me a pack of PJs, their fronts emblazoned with sayings like AREN’T I JUST A F[…]ING RAY OF SUNSHINE and TALK NERDY TO ME and ZZZZZZZZZZ SNORE (not the message a therapist wants to send her patients). I’m trying to remember which one I wore last night. I brace myself and glance down. My top says NAMAST’AY IN BED. Julie is looking at me, waiting for an answer. Whenever I’m not sure what to say in the therapy room—which happens to therapists more often than patients realize—I have a choice: I can say nothing until I understand the moment better, or I can attempt an answer, but whatever I do, I must tell the truth. [...] “Yes,” I tell Julie. “It’s a pajama top. I guess I put it on by mistake.” I wait, wondering what she’ll say. If she asks why, I’ll tell the truth (although not the specifics): I wasn’t paying attention this morning. “Oh,” she says. Then her mouth twitches the way it does when she’s about to cry, but instead, she starts laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you. Namast’ay in Bed . . . that’s exactly how I feel!” Content Warnings: terminal cancer, death, mystery illness, depression, suicidal ideation, romantic breakup, car accident, sudden death of child

Comenzar con uno mismo , viendo hacia dentro y comprendiendo de la mano de un terapeuta algunas formas modos y traumas nos ayudan no solo a nosotros mismos , a nuestro entorno sino que tmb a nuestras descendencias .

I bought this book when I was going through a tough time. The reviews looked great, although I must say I was sceptical about how many fervent positive comments there were about the book; surely it cannot be THAT life changing. It was 6 months before I started to read it, but I'm glad I picked it when I did, the stories and knowledge and experience in the book came at just the right time. I LOVED the book. It was written so so beautifully. Gottlieb is an excellent writer, the way she manages to create intricate plots out of people's life stories and hooks you in is simply fantastic. I have qualms with non-fiction books which use jargon and have a narrative voice that gives off "better than thou" energy. So I was happy that this book shared so much professional expertise in an easy to understand way and with a tone that was warming and approachable. I must say I read the book quickly, wanting to know what happens next. However, there were so many beautiful and striking quotes, I shall be re-reading it and noting these down with care so I can refer back to these again and again. I really do recommend this book, in fact I have to the people in my life, passing the book around. I think in many ways, if you are struggling, you may see yourself reflected in her stories and in her patients' stories and you might just find yourself in a position to change your life.

I just finished reading this and it was brilliant. As someone currently studying psychology, this book hit on so many levels. It’s insightful, deeply human, and at times surprisingly funny. Gottlieb has a way of breaking down complex emotional experiences into something relatable and real, without ever losing depth. It felt like sitting in on therapy sessions from both sides of the couch — raw, honest, and incredibly thought-provoking. This was a recommendation from my niece’s husband, and I’m genuinely grateful he pointed me toward it. It’s one of those books that stays with you long after you’ve finished, and it’s given me a lot to reflect on — both personally and in my studies. If you have any interest in psychology, therapy, or just understanding people (including yourself) a bit better, this is absolutely worth your time.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is a heartfelt, funny, and deeply human memoir that offers a rare peek into the mind of a therapist—both as a professional and as a patient. Lori Gottlieb’s storytelling is raw, honest, and filled with humor, making complex emotions feel relatable and accessible. She masterfully weaves together her own personal struggles with those of her clients, showing the universal nature of healing and self-discovery. This book is equal parts eye-opening, entertaining, and emotionally profound—highly recommended for anyone who enjoys psychology, personal growth, or simply a beautifully written story.

I laughed. I cried. I learned something about myself and others. The author shares her vulnerability in a way that encourages people to connect.