Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships

Absolutely brilliant! I love this book. This book is revolutionary; it gave me a paradigm shift. Cupid's Poisoned Arrow will transform your views regarding sex, relationships, orgasm, masturbation, and how to be the best lover you can be. Then it gives you the practical steps to apply this new information. The main topic in this book is about the sexual practice of karezza, and the benefits to a relationship and to oneself of practicing karezza and cultivating one’s sexual energy. If you want to be a better lover and have an amazing relationship (now or in the future), Cupid's Poisoned Arrow is a must-read. If you want lasting attraction and affection with a partner after the "honeymoon stage" of a relationship, Cupid's Poisoned Arrow is a must-read. She brilliantly explains why passion falls, and gives the solution. In a time where porn addictions, divorces, and unhappy, sexless, or erratic relationships seem to be the norm, and where people feel more disconnected from each other than ever before in our society, I believe Marnia has figured out where we have gone wrong, and has discovered the antidote. The message in this book is so unknown to the public... yet so needed. This book is a hidden gem. It’s honestly sad how underground these ideas are because so many people would benefit from learning. I have a feeling the concepts in this book will go viral in society in about 10 years as more people discover this. I read this book when single. I highly recommend this book for both people in relationships and single people. Women or men. Young or old. Whoever you are, READ THIS BOOK! :) There is a little spirituality in this book, which I really enjoyed. Atheists, don't let that deter you. There is lots of science in Cupid and it's a practical read. I recommend this book to everyone. You may have to read a few parts of this book with an open mind and nonjudgemental attitude as these concepts are currently outside of mainstream consciousness. About 2/3 of the way through, the book does start to feel a bit repetitive. I feel the author really wanted to hammer the message in, especially because these ideas are so underground. But the message of the book is so brilliant, important, unique, and life-changing this is a very easy 5/5. The end is great too because it gives a practical guide. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and feel it transformed my life forever in a positive, healthy, and more loving way. This book connected so many dots for me about sexuality and relationships. I've actually read it 2.5x now. I believe that if more people read this book the world will become a much better and more harmonious place. I hope you give it a read!

This book changed the way I think about sex, intimacy, and what actually keeps a relationship feeling close. The author explains the science behind bonding and pleasure, but also goes deeper than the usual relationship advice. Some of the sections do repeat the core message, but it helped the ideas sink in. The real value is putting the theory into practice, even trying a few of the suggestions made a noticeable difference in how connected. Overall, if you’re curious about why the “honeymoon phase” fades or you want a more steady, loving connection (not just more techniques), this is a powerful read.

Although it can be somewhat repetitive in parts making it longer than it really needs to be, the material in this book is unlike anything I've found anywhere else. The author has done a wonderful job of synthesizing concepts from various cultures and disciplines such as modern neuroscience and ancient wisdom to bring the reader fresh insights into very common problems married couples face. What's really fascinating though is what happens when you actually do what the book suggests; i.e. take the recommended actions in your life. My wife and I have been practicing the ideas in this book for a few months now. The changes in us, and in our relationship are nothing short of miraculous. It's funny, but this was here for us the whole time, we just didn't know about it. What we learn about sex from the TV, movies, our friends, and the internet; it's all wrong! Don't be put off by negative reviews of people who have just read the book but didn't try it (or maybe didn't even read it). To correctly implement these ideas is very simple, but not easy! The result is a huge paradigm shift, which in itself suggests that the ideas themselves cannot be fully appreciated in a solely cognitive context; they must be acted upon and experienced before passing judgment. Sex without orgasms sounds crazy; that's what I thought when I first heard about it. But I can honestly say that my wife and I both enjoy sex with each other 10 times more now, and at the same time, it's much more connected and loving. What if even half of what I'm saying is true? Would it be worth it to buy the book, read it and try out the ideas for a few weeks? How about when compared to the cost of infidelity? Divorce? Sexless marriages, Etc... UPDATE If I could rate this book 10 stars, I would. 8 years later, my wife and I have mastered this technique. It took a while to gain that much control, but at this point, we are addicted to each other, better than when we were first dating. This should be required reading in school. If everyone knew this, divorce would be non-existent and no one would bother making war because they'd be too busy making love...

In all the overabundance of neo tantric/taoist/eastern sex books, this is a groundbreaking work. I read this book with rapturous fascination, though sometimes I was stymied by her writing style (see my last paragraphs for critique) I am eager for more authors or teachers to present this amazing material. Marnia has aggregated data on addiction, evolutionary biology and sociology to round out all that we know about eastern sexual-spiritual traditions. It makes orgasmless sex much more grounded and accessible to us westerners who worship science studies and conclusions more than tantra and gurus. Instead of promising grand states of total bliss if we avoid orgasm, (though that may happen), she's promising stable, long term happy relationships. I don't know about you, but between the two, I'll take the latter. It's an excellent response to "Sex at Dawn", that questionable though interesting pop science pro-polyamory airport book from a few years ago. More than that, CPA is a great companion to any of Mantak Chia/Michael Winn taoist work, or any Neo-Tantric sex practitioners. A lot of disparate puzzle pieces came together for me when I read this book. I've been doing Taoist sexual practices for over 10 years. It's been good, but frustrating and confusing at times. I now see non orgasmic sex not just as a way to prevent depletion, but also a way to develop healthy satisfying relationship bonding, and avoid an addiction pattern with orgasm. She gives a few chapters to all the spiritual traditions that advocated this style of love making, which is brief but fascinating. So, the idea that healthy, transorgasmic sex promotes long term happiness in a couple is not new, but supporting it with the modern western science of neuro-biology and evolutionary biology is. It makes it much more accessible to to those with a western western mindset. The critique: She's not a scientist, and neither is her research partner/husband. I think at one point she describes him as a nuerology 'enthusiast'. Which is fine, but maybe she could be upfront about the fact that she doesn't have the background in science or the accountability that specialists have. She hasn't done any original research, and at her worst supports a lot of her assertions with excerpts from the comments section of her website, or, stories about her girlfriends' lives. She also tends to assert that orgasm based sex is the cause of all relationship ills. Over and over. She ignores all other factors such as life phase, healthy communication, attachment theory, etc. A final critique is that she is redundant, and the book lacks a coherent organization. She kind of just talks about every topic in every section. Despite these annoyances, it's been an ESSENTIAL step for me to read this book and practice my version of Karezza, and I look forward to learning more about the addictive nature of orgasm and the long term benefits of transorgasmic sex.

This book provides new and valuable information on knowledge that has been around for thousands of years and continues to surface and resurface over the centuries. Creating and sustaining fulfilling sexual relations with ones partner is probably one of the top concerns of everyone involved in a long term relationship. This book address these concerns, laying out a clear path of why so many of us have mixed results in this area and then describes practical ways to create harmony. What's unique about this book is the science based information as to the bio chemical systems at play when we think about and engage sexually. Armed with this information one can make wiser choices in creating satisfying intimate relationships. I like the way the author combines personal experience, science based information and wisdom from the past to create a book that is intimate and informative with a sense of the bigger picture, all the while being an enjoyable read. You can see that the author walks the talk from practical experience. If you want to reinvent yourself as a sexual being and negotiate the often stormy waters of sexual relationships this book offers deep insight into our human reproductive nature with practical tools on how to sail forward into smoother and infinitely more satisfying waters.

Cupid's poisoned arrow is a wonderful revelation. I'm very grateful for the insights this book provides. Although I suspected that frequent ejaculation and porn use caused inner turmoil, I didn't have any good ideas of what to do about it. This book confirmed and greatly expanded my suspicions and intuitions about the after effects of sex. Furthermore, unlike any other book, sex expert, or podcast that I've come across, Cupid's poisoned arrow shows us a way off of the physical and emotional roller coaster ride from the endless pursuit of bigger, better, and more intense orgasms. Personally, it's a relief. Unless this is pointed out to you, the negative after effects of orgasm are very hard to spot. I didn't see them. Even when I suspected after effects such as moodiness and fatigue were related to ejaculating, what could I do? Although books such as The Multi-orgasmic man pointed out the pitfalls of ejaculating, the prescription was to get to the edge and then move the sexual energy up the spine. I tried and eventually gave up these exercises. Too frustrating and I didn't get results. Karezza, by contrast, looks easy. Cupid's poisoned arrow gives us a thorough, comprehensive view of orgasms. There are no moral arguments against them. The argument is neurochemical. Avoid orgasm because there is a hidden two week hangover called the passion cycle. I'm grateful for knowing this and for a path out - karezza. It's too early to give 1st hand knowledge that karezza works, but my intuition says "Yes". I'll be experimenting, no doubt. Thank you Marnia, Will, and the growing community.

After reading this book, you will never look at sex the same again. You will never look at orgasm the same again. You will never look at dopamine the same again. I stopped the practice of porn, masturbation, and orgasm (nofap) about a month ago and feel incredible. The only reason I was able to go this far was because of this book. I plan to make it a lifelong discipline. It is incredibly life changing. I have a renewed sense of cuddling, bonding, and seeing women in a completely more selfless angelic light. It has helped me increase my confidence, general self control, and has attracted the most beautiful women into my life that I never imagined would be into me. All this from a simple, yet deeply thorough book on orgasm & bonding. PLEASE READ THIS BOOK WETHER OR NOT YOU ARE SINGLE, MARRIED, DIVORCED, OR DATING. It will honestly upgrade you life in ways that will shock you.

A crucial book. Marnia guides us well through a series of experiences that few have even considered much less know anything about. Giving up orgasms while continuing to have sex? Why on earth would you want to do that? Because the result is both extraordinary and transformative! Having already done much of the work that she describes both anecdotally and with a fascinating dive into the biochemistry of desire and bonding I can attest to the incredible power of harnessing your sexual energy by not permitting it to dissipate. As a man it has completely changed my own sexual response. Watching how it has impacted the few partners who I have had who were capable of exploring with me at that level I can say that the result was just as impressive for them. Cupid presents both the issue and solution to sexual interaction as passion versus bonding. I am going to suggest that there are ways to work with both so that it is not an either/or situation. All methods of extended energetic and bliss level sexual play require the restraint of conventional orgasm but there are deep levels of experience that can be found in which passion and bonding can be simultaneously present. Despite that significant difference in opinion with the author I value her book as a beautiful introduction to a very powerful path-less-traveled and also as a reference guide for the physiology of attraction, desire, bonding and pleasure.

C’est un livre brillant sur la sexualité. Cette lecture a été pour moi époustouflante. Je sens le changement positif dans mon couple et dans ma relation avec moi-même. Merci à l’autrice pour ce merveilleux cadeau. ❤️

elijo esta valoracion por ke por ahora cumple con mis espectativas. no lo esty leyendo yo, era para regalar a la que fue mi pareja, ya ke emos tenido dificultades ideologicas sobre el tema ke este libro trata, y keria regalarle un libro ke pudiese esplicar bien mi vision sobre el tema ke habla. y por lo ke ella me kuenta... es muy kompleto y profundo.

This book changed my perception forever. It gave me optimism and the knowledge of a new path to walk, of which I am already experiencing the benefits.

É um livro bom pra entender que você não precisa ser escravo de si mesmo. Entende o que faz o corpo secretar dopamina e como não se tornar dependente disto.

Ignore the superficial (and sometimes inaccurate) articles written in the national press about Karezza. I must point out that karezza is NOT tantric sex and it is NOT about avoiding intercourse. You can find bettter information on the author's site or better yet, read this book. I write this review having read the book a few months ago and I can confidently say that Marnia Robinson changed my husband's and my own focus from conventional orgasm-driven sex to bonding behaviours (including lovemaking). Read this book if you want to know: - Why sex never seems to solve relationship problems, even though it might be mindblowing. - What orgasm, in particular, does to the neurochemistry of your brain. How porn, masturbation and feelings of love/closeness are tied in to this. - Why the various practices that are similar to karezza are also different in important ways, e.g. tantric sex etc. - Karezza is independent of how much or how less you want sex so it works even though one of you in the relationship wants sex more than the other. Indeed, those who tend to not want it are greatly relieved by this approach and usually want to be closer as a result! - How the concept of karezza may actually be thousands of years old. - How the neurochemistry and 'craving' behind seeking sex ties in with other activities that might be addictive. - About the tug-of-war in the brain between the need for evolutionary driven sex (the goals of which are orgasm and as many offspring as possible) and the need for bonding behaviours (with/without intercourse) which promotes wellbeing and happiness in relationships. I can also now understand why 'sex sells' in advertising and how advertising exploits the same neurochemical pathways in all of us. Robinson intersperses science with history so the book never becomes tedious. The science is explained in a very readable way with helpful diagrams and I also found the "wisdom of the ages" mini chapters extremely interesting. Personally, I would love if she wrote more about the history/wisdom in a future book. I must admit, she only gets to the method towards the end of the book and even halfway through I was getting impatient to know 'how to do' karezza. However, having read the whole book I can understand why she does this. If you're unsure about buying this book, go to her website, which is what I did previously. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.